Wish for the Sky Reviews
I really liked this poem. I feel slang can be used appropriately, and it definitely was in this one. I didn't really run into any snags other than a little in the beginning when I did see a small amount of "forced" rhyming. Otherwise I thought it was rather lovely
Again, your choice to ignore another of the submission guidelines (that of using slang and colloquialisms) in your work rankles. You are better than some of the work you submit. Using cheap 'kop-outs' (such as 'kiester') demeans you and your work.
You say feel you are "getting the hang of poetry"? One golden rule to observe when writing rhymes, especially, is if you've got to FORCE the rhyme then it's not worth the bother. The rhymes should feel natural and smooth.
This is not your finest hour as you've produced much better work than this poem. However, as a learning experience, it's all valuable knowledge.