Andy (Formerly Apemann)

This is terribly written, sounds like you wrote out the argument you had with yourself in your head... where's the redemption part?

I don't know what your trying to accomplish with this piece of writing, but it's definitely not a structured shorty story. This reads like a confession for sure, but not a shorty story. There is no specific incident, rising action, or climax. This is like a crime report that is written well, but that's about it.