Andy (Formerly Apemann)

A really nicely written piece... but to what end? I am at a loss to grasp what was the point of what I have just read other than as a sort-of travelogue to the place you describe (in nice detail, too)

To my thinking, this is not a story, per se; more of a memento of a particular event and as such does not really hit the mark I would have expected. In saying that, though, you write wonderfully descriptive prose. I would hope to see that talent turned towards more 'conventional' (if I may put it that way) fiction pieces?

Ah, just the thing to put a smile on anybody's face. Terrific.

Please be careful with your spelling...

Terrific!

Many will relate to your words, especially the more world-weary amongst us I suspect...

Great stuff. I look forward to more from you in due course.

There are some really good parts to this story: atmosphere-building and scene-setting for sure. Where is really falls flat for me is the actual 'horror' scenes. They are told in such a flat and bland tone that they fail to resonate emotionally or viscerally.

Horror is one of the most difficult genres to write successfully and/or effectively. Much really good horror writing is not really very graphic: it's mostly about suggestion, subtle hints and manipulating the readers' imagination. Steven King is the master at it, and he is rarely as graphic in his writing as you have been in your story.

It IS a good story, definitely. My review is just an opinion. Others will disagree and rave about it. :-)

The most important part of surviving bullying is to remember that you MATTER. You are IMPORTANT, you have VALUE and there are people who LOVE you. The person who must love you most is YOU.

NEVER let the bullies make you feel anything less than the wonderful, unique, special and individually terrific person you are. It is THEY who have the problems, not you. They hurt you because they are too shallow and ignorant to recognise their flaws. Your poem demonstrates that you have a greater level of maturity and self-awareness and understanding than your tormentors. Take that knowledge with you each and every time they try to upset you for you are a far, far better person than any of them are!

Even though you failed spectacularly at my challenge, the end result was worth it :-) This story pays its dues to the detective novels of the nineteen-thirties and forties in its style and language. A clever and inventive use of fairy-tale characters in a noir-type setting, which is slightly reminiscent of the movie 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit?'

Excellent work, Brian. I look forward to the next instalment...

This story is, of course, utterly brilliant! It is, though, a big ask - at over 11000 words - to sit and read in one go. It is worth it, though! :-) Fabulous work xx

Beautiful and elegant - just like the author of this lovely poem. Fabulous, hon! xx