United States • 29 y/oReviews Received
A little confused - and confusing - as you seem to be trying to incorporate too many ideas and themes into one poem. I get the gist of the poem, but the result is unsatisfying.
On the plus side; there is a spark of a storyteller in you that, with care and nurturing, could become a good one :-)
So touching and heartfelt.
I'm not sure why you chose to present your work in such a form as it was unnecessary (and a little confusing, to be honest)
Overall the poem is good, if a little overlong and slightly repetitive in places. A like your imagination and your use of words. You clearly take a great deal of care over your work and choose your words carefully. There are some who could learn a thing or two from you :-)
Well done and keep writing. It's a pleasure to read your work.
Sweet and touching. Lovely!