United Kingdom • 65 y/oReviews Received
I found this story drew me in from the beginning. I liked the city descriptions like I was on a walking tour along with the narrator. Excellent story.
When I saw the word GHOST in the title, I thought something scary was about to happen. But, of course, that is not what this tale is about. It's a visitation from those who have stepped back through the veil to comfort those who remain on this plane of existence.
It is not an unlikely event and should be cherished for its intent. The story was told in a simple matter-of-fact manner which added to it's charm.
i would suggest the author read the tale aloud or have someone read it for them. This will highlight a few areas that require the writer's attention.
Other than that, the voice of the narrator perfectly captures the character of this piece. The pace of the story is very good. The structure needs a little attention - reading the story aloud will assist in polishing that aspect.
The writing is fluent and readable. Images are quite plausible Observations and descriptions are effortless and create a vivid setting, evoking mood and atmosphere.
This is a very pleasant and charming piece of writing.
Ciao
JT
I enjoyed reading this story very much, from style to voice, description and characterisation, everything is perfect. Awesome job!
A good story well told... although your 'brief' introduction took away some of the suspense. The idea of that section to give a general idea of your story in JUST A FEW WORDS, not explain what is coming in detail.
I would also suggest that with a piece this long that you submit it as two of three parts. It is unlikely that many people will make the effort - or even have the time - to spend reading such a long story in one sitting, whereas they will more likely read it in 'bite-size' chunks.
Overall, though, an interesting and entertaining effort.