Belgium • 57 y/oReviews Received
As often before you say a lot with just a few words. Not every writer has thst gift. I certainly don't.
You describe two convincing characters with just a few words. It takes a lot of skill to do that.
You could have described a fight between man and wolf, that or him chasing her or both. Its hard to imagine a wolf going down without attempting to resist.
I like the metaphore of the first asdignment
It wouldn't have occured to me but now you mention it, its a good one.
You say a lot with a few words. Its moving and convincing. I like the phrase 'when the leaves loose grip.'
You sum up the Earl beautifully with just a few words. Well done.
In my opinion, even though the middle section did not hold my interest for a long time, the creative ending was memorable. In the middle section, there were too less description of the character. As the story progressed, I could not follow the pace of the narration. In addition to the pacing problem, I personally did not like how the supernatural phenomenon was not fully explored. It is interesting for me to see objects disappearing after a flashing flash of light, but it would be more interesting if the character conducts a few makeshift experiments like throwing a ball to the supernatural, problematic place, for example. However, at the end of the story, the second narrator suddenly appears and says that the story was found in a bottle letter. This adds reality to the story, and I personally like the idea. Taken together, the story is right in the border of okay and poor, personally speaking.
I love this! You should totally continue writing! You have great ideas