United Kingdom • 60 y/oReviews Given
This has a good rythem especially at the start.
The opening is good. Perhaps you could spend a little more time building suspense. The man could hear birdsong at the start but then it stops and he wonders why. Alternatively he could think that normally there are sheep where he's walking, but today there are none. He might find a dead sheep but assume a fox or a stray dog of flesh and blood killed it.
I hope this proves helpful.
This is an evocative, if sad, story. I took a holidsy in Kingussie many years ago and I like dogs, so it struck a chord with me. Well done.
As often before you say a lot with just a few words. Not every writer has thst gift. I certainly don't.
This is a vivid descriptive piece. I could imagine I was there.
This is a nice twist on the theme of don't underestimate the elderly. Chsracters and settings are described very well
I like the comparison of the ringmaster to a potato. You evoke a different, I think more innocent time very well. The attempted robbey came up ratber suddenly, its as well to foreshadow these tbings. Then again it would be sudden for them. Overall, well done.
There are some good descriptions and a good twist, but twists need to be foreshadowed. Perhaps a police officer could notice Miriam's house was neat and tidy for someone with dementia, but then assume she had a good home help. That drops a hint that Miriam isnt as ill as she seems without giving everything away.