United Kingdom • 60 y/oReviews Given
A sweet story and also a timely one about taking others as they are.
The pigeon and what it left is a witty touch. I've heard before that people in dry climates welcome rain so that rings true. In my native Britain rain means gloom, but I can see why things would be different in a desert.
You evoke the setting very well, especially the swim on the summers day.
You describe both the main character and the setting very well. I hope this story gets a lot more hits.
Children will probably like how the parrot goes from zero to hero. It would take more than 20 parrots to right the ship but you're using a surreal premise all along so you might get away with it. Its a nice twist at the end.
This is a moving poem with a lot of good imagery. If its written from experience I hope things get better for yoi soon. Good times don't last forever but niether do bad times.
You wrote a tense buildup as she tried and failed to kill him. I wondered how she was going to get out of it.
'More thoroughly' didn't feel right in that context. 'More forcefully' or 'more severely' would've conveyed Mum's determination better. I hope this proves helpful.
I'm glad you can see the positive side of your mother and yout relationship. I hope you continue to heal. Some things will never be the same again, but we learn to deal with it. I wish you didn't have to learn so young but it can be done.