United Kingdom • 60 y/oReviews Given
You keep saying the same thing several times, not least how hortrible the monster is. You can say it only a few times and we get the message. When severed heads arrive in a box we can see this thing is violent. You tell us our hero was born to a peasant, then he wasn't nobly born. Its clear he's not if his parents were peasants.
The plot will appeal to lovers of fantasy, just try to avoid over writing
You describe two convincing characters with just a few words. It takes a lot of skill to do that.
These are good descriptions and an interesting premise. I hope you keep writing.
You could have described a fight between man and wolf, that or him chasing her or both. Its hard to imagine a wolf going down without attempting to resist.
Passed me reads better than crossed me. Otherwise its a well written story with a touch of mystery. Why did she stay? You set the scene quickly and effectively. Well done there.
If this is based on fact then he should've taken you as you are or not at all. I hope you meet someone who will. There's plenty of time for that to happen.
You evoke a child's point of view in a more innocent era very well.
I like the quips and the descriptions of snow and festivities. I wouldn't comment on their talking a man out of suicide as, thankfully, I've no experience of that. I suspect that what works in one case might not in another. Overall its a good story.