IanG

You've expressed what a lot of young peope feel at your age. I don't have a nice easy answer but I'll say this. You're not alone, some people set standards for others that few if any of us measure up to, and kindness, intelligence and creativity matter as well as what you look like.

I like the descriptions of Everist, you've done well there. You could've added details of how Hillary was feeling, like aching legs or gasping for breath. When he makes it try saying he felt exhilerated or triumphant. Back then he might have been discouraged from showing emotions but he could still have felt them deep inside himself.

'A reputation with the locals' not 'in the locals.' That or 'a reputation in the area.'

You evoke the setting and the characters past experiences well. I like the way they think they've debunked the myth only to realise they havn't.

Overall your descriptions are good. Just one thing, 'clutched' the guitar would be better than 'engulfed.' If you engulf something you cover it completely. One hand would'nt cover the whole guitar. Otherwise well done.

I hope things get better for you and soon. I'm not an expert on medical matters, but I know that medicene has advanced greatly over time, and illnesses that were once incurable are now treatable. Don't give up hope.

This is an impressive piece for such a young writer. I can believe in your narrator and the plea for reconcilliation is heartfelt.

You could've told us more about what you and Charlie did together, games you played, music you listened to and so on. That would be a more subtle way of showing his character. That said, there are good descriptive passages here and the nostalga is heartfelt. Many people will relate to the theme of a warm but lost friendship.

Draco's feelings in this piece are very convincing. It fits well with the original stories. I recall that at the very end of 'Deathly Hallows' Harry glimpses Draco at the station, but while they're not friendly they don't show fear of each other. That being so the bit about him trying to reform fits too.