IanG

If this is written from experience I hope your brothet comes home safe and sound.

As in part one, the descriptions are vivid and you build suspense well.

We are surrounded by images of people who are physically perfect. It puts a lot of pressure on us to measure up. Try to remember celebrities have a lot of help from make up artists and even personal trainers. Teenagers in films are often portrayed by twenty somethings. Photos can even be airbrushed. Most of us are not so lucky. Just because you don't look like your favourite singer or actor, it doesn't make you a failure.

You have clearly worked hard on this story, researching the background, researching your protagonist and building a sense of place. I hope it proves popular.

Sad but beautifully done. You evoke the voice of a small child very well.

This is an evocative piece and I can relate to it. I live near a popular national park and there are times when its good to be alone at a beauty spot. The trouble is that it feels selfish wanting it to yourself all the time, and also many local people would loose their jobs but for the visitors. Even so, your narrator's mood is totally believable.

This is a moving poem with a lot of good imagery. If its written from experience I hope things get better for yoi soon. Good times don't last forever but niether do bad times.

I like the soft grass metaphore. Keep it up.