lemonslice

Your writing has come leaps and bounds from when I read your first submissions. I still think you need to stop rushing when you write. You also need to look at dialogue punctuation. This is how it works:

"I love you," he said. <- A comma when using dialogue tag (said).
"I love you." He embraced me. <- Capital letter and period when using an action tag (embrace).

This is still a vignette and not a whole story. But it's always good practice so keep it up!

Funny story. :)

Remember to write out numbers with letters instead. Especially if it's anything lower than a hundred.

I liked the twist but I disliked the use of the adverb in "yells loudly". How do you yell "silently"?

I like how you formatted the poem, but the words didn't invoke anything for me. I didn't feel anything. Take this line for example:

"I burn like ashes"

What does that even mean? Do ashes burn?

A line like "I often think of death" could be made much more visceral, making the reader feel something rather than just read a simple statement.

Funny vignette. The trick to writing excellent flash fiction is to cut out all the pleasantries when characters talk. So the "Hello, how are you?" dialogue has to go every time. Also, make sure you don't start with a dialogue without letting the reader know who's talking.

Keep it up!

Nice little piece only spoilt by a scattered number of typos and grammatical errors.

A pretty interesting prose poem, even though it's been done to death a thousand times before. Be mindful of the difference between "then" and "than".

I wish you had unpacked this prose poem more. Describe the emotions of being lost in these woods. Juxtapose it with the guy's life outside.

Be bold.

And be mindful of your spelling and grammar.