United States • 25 y/o • MaleReviews Received
This hit me on a whole different level, when my ex and I broke up I thought I'd be okay, but I'm not, I'm still not and we broke up November 3rd 2023. I let them go, and I hate that I did. Good job writing this! :)
This is a moving poem with a lot of good imagery. If its written from experience I hope things get better for yoi soon. Good times don't last forever but niether do bad times.
I really liked the description and the structure, but sometimes the story was hard to follow. I had to read the story three times and to use Google Translate in order to find out who is in the coffin: the daughter of the main character. I got mixed up in paragraph 6 that the main character's sister was in the coffin, too. However, the deep emotional experience of the main character was described so vivid that I recalled the death of my family. All in all, the story was okay. To improve it furthermore, I recommend the author to give a general description or a general narration of the situation which the main character is facing.
If someone else can follow the story like a flowing water, then it is because I am a beginner in English, sorry.
such a sad yet beautiful piece. i love the way you scattered the prose throughout to help illustrate how the characters are feeling. great job!
As a walker and nature lover I can relate to your narrator. This is a detailed, evocative piece. It can hold its own with many works in traditional media.
this is so beautifully written! the way it's formatted is similar to a song...maybe you should write a melody and use this as your lyrics :)