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NorthernPhoenix

NorthernPhoenix is from US United States • 25 y/o • Female

Reviews Received

lyngbakr82
𝕝𝕪𝕟𝕘𝕓𝕒𝕜𝕣𝟠𝟚 reviewed Wish You Were Here

I really relate to this. you should reach out to this person and just let them know you're thinking of them. hope you feel better. great job with this one! :D

1
ThomastheRay
Thomas Ray reviewed The Girl and the Raven - Part III

Easily my favorite part of the story so far. It flows better, and the dialogue was fun and showed the characters' personalities nicely.
I'm excited for the rest.

0
Sepperince19
Sepperince reviewed The Girl and the Raven - Part III

I think the story is great and I like how you change the mood of the story slightly every time it gives a sense of evolution to the characters that would not be seen otherwise. Keep it up you are doing a great job.

0
hercules
hercules reviewed Scattered Thoughts

I enjoyed your story. Well done.

0
Aishlynn
Skylar reviewed The Girl and the Raven - Part II

I love the vibe this story gives! Very fairy tale esque, which is a bop. As for the mushrooms, I honestly wouldn't have noticed if not for the other reviews pointing them out. That is to say, I don't have a problem with them, because the focus isn't necessarily the mushrooms, but that she knows about them.

0
IanG
IanG reviewed The Girl and the Raven - Part II

You convey well how, as she grows up a bit, she becomes more aware of a wider world beyond her own home.
With the mushrooms, are you trying to show that she's a nature lover with a deep knowledge of her environment? As to how necessary it is, that depends on whether a deep knowledge of nature is important in a later episode. It also depends on what you and your readers are interested it. We don't all like the same things.

0
ThomastheRay
Thomas Ray reviewed The Girl and the Raven - Part I

Love the feather visuals. Love the atmosphere. Word choice is kinda flowery, but not bad by any means.

0
ThomastheRay
Thomas Ray reviewed The Girl and the Raven - Part II

I will say, we spent a strange amount of time talking about mushrooms, and it feels very different from the rest of the story. At the end, it says "Before they knew it, they were inseparable friends", but we didn't see that process (which is fine, because the story is going to be relatively short, and you can't show everything) but we DID see mushrooms, which left me confused.
Maybe I missed something that gives the mushrooms meaning. Maybe I'm too hung up on them. Either way, I like the tone of this, and the pictures you chose have the cold, airy, but still stable vibe of the story.
To be clear, I actually like the mushroom conversation (except for the obnoxious technical names) but I do question its necessity in this story. Ya gots ta be intentional about what you show, and if we're hung up on plants while brushing by character development, it can leave the reader feeling cheated.

1