United Kingdom • 51 y/oReviews Received
this story was amazing
I never understood why everyone blames people who commit suicide, or call them cowards. It is a terrifying thing to hold a knife to yourself or to tie a rope knowing its going to hurt, hoping it doesn't hurt as bad as everything else had prior. The real problem will always be those you see the problem and do nothing anyways.
I like this alot, thank you for sharing it.
???
Really? I can make no sense of these few lines at all. Am I missing something?
Very strange... :-)
Hmm...
To be honest my first impression after reading this poem is that it is 'self-pitying': someone begging forgiveness for committing suicide. It left me feeling a little put-out by it as it just doesn't feel right.
It's not a bad poem, just the subject matter that doesn't work for me.
I like some of the imagery and imaginative use of metaphors, like "I'm a forgotten picture frame." Overall, however, it's rather glum and self-pitying, and it seems a bit lazy with phrases like "I'm just so lonely."
This is a nice piece. It seems like it could work well as an illustrated children's story. Well done.
Ah, just the thing to put a smile on anybody's face. Terrific.
Please be careful with your spelling...
Whilst I appreciate the somewhat surrealist and esoteric nature of your work, the use of incorrect words and bad spelling is inexcusable ('there' instead of 'their' for instance) .To 'erode' means to rub or wear away; how does that word fit in with your poem???
It's all very well being clever and arty - but you still have to do the basics right.