United Kingdom • 51 y/oReviews Received
Hmm...
To be honest my first impression after reading this poem is that it is 'self-pitying': someone begging forgiveness for committing suicide. It left me feeling a little put-out by it as it just doesn't feel right.
It's not a bad poem, just the subject matter that doesn't work for me.
Whilst I appreciate the somewhat surrealist and esoteric nature of your work, the use of incorrect words and bad spelling is inexcusable ('there' instead of 'their' for instance) .To 'erode' means to rub or wear away; how does that word fit in with your poem???
It's all very well being clever and arty - but you still have to do the basics right.
???
Really? I can make no sense of these few lines at all. Am I missing something?
Very strange... :-)