United States • 23 y/o • FemaleReviews Received
The ending sounds great but doesn't really finish feeling satisfied.... I think it's because there isn't a rhyme there, but I don't know for sure. Keep writing!
Okey, here's my review:
Positive - really got the audience wondering what will happen next and the pot line is going slow enough to get the setting started and gave the reader a sense of what's happening.
Negative- it seems that in some places you forgot to read over the text and it was hard to follow what a few mistaken words meant. I advise reading over it out loud.
(I'm trying the whole criticism thing - am I good at it yet?)
Great so far!! Please do write more! -KP
It's great. The ending is fine the way it is, but there are some parts that seem a little choppy or out of place. Doing great!
This is a great story! Although, it would be better if there were chapters. It seems like there should be more. Like, how her parents died, for example, and about her Aunt. There were a few grammar mistakes that can be easily fixed.
Other than that, I enjoyed this short story. Good job!
I agree with your response to Appeman. Sometimes critism can take a sharp turn, stab you in the back, and leave you bleeding inside.
Besides a few grammar errors, it's great! I wanna hear a ton more from this! It's a great start! Please, please, please continue!!!!
-KP
love this!!
