United States • 22 y/o • MaleReviews Received
I like your descriptions at the beginning. Its common for authors to change their minds while doing first drafts of stories and good that you're self-critical. Perhaps you could've described the boy's escape in more detail, it would've added excitement, but overall its a good story.
Great!
Just wow!
It's good to understand the whole situation from everyone's point of view before coming to a conclusion but I think it was more like a theory explaining the reason behind all the chaos of the world.
Anyway, it's great.
1) That was written well, nothing grammatically wrong as far as i can tell.
2) I can completely relate to this story
Good story keep writing!
3) I sort of noticed this while reading but, add a c to Iares to get Icares which describes that friend and switch the k in miko to an n for mino which describes that friend.
Just something i noticed.
That was different. It definitely offers a different perspective on friends, and I feel like it's very relatable. Good job.
So truthful it hurts.
This isn't my first time reading this, but unlike the other times, it really connected to me. I'm not sure if I read the tone right, but it feels (to me) like stating fact. The narrator isn't bemoaning their life, in fact, they occasionally seem morbidly amused. To them, they're stating facts of life, even if it it sad. Anyway, good work.
I like the metaphorical feel of this story.