While our time together was limited Edward insisted on "dressing" me all the time. My attire, perfume, jewelry and cosmetics became his domain. Fascinated with my hair and ears, he bought hair clasps and earrings to adorn them. He'd take me to buy cosmetics, watch the sales girl test them on me, buy what he liked and then apply them on me afterwards at his apartment, an artist with me the canvas.
On a Friday night arrival, he fussed on re-dressing me and kept an expanding his wardrobe for me. His re-dressing could include new, attire, makeup, nail polish or hair style. I arrive without makeup in casual clothes to deflect hubby’s suspicions and give Edward a clean slate. He never, however, bought pants or shorts for me to wear. He applied makeup from lipstick to eye shadow, combed my hair, chose earrings and hair clasp to finish my presentation. I loved the attention and became addicted to his changing me.
Edward changed my life perspective, mannerisms, goals, even the way I spoke. I transposed from a girl to a woman who was consciously feminine yet self-assured. I no longer took my appearance for granted and dressed for influence not only for others but for me.
After 6 months, he gave me a sapphire ring with diamonds. It was beautiful and too expensive.
He requested I wear it instead of my wedding ring but I refused and wore it on my right hand only when with him. I told my husband the gems were synthetic and I bought it from a girl at work, cheap. I never wore it around him.
Edward taught me to avoid vulgar words and use the proper term when talking about sex. I readily agreed as I never did swear, He explained how vulgar words demeaned the user, the listener and the object or person discussed. His favorite singer was Tom Jones and he got me the record, Say You Will Stay Until Tomorrow.
He wanted to visit my home. I knew he was not a friend to my family. He was trying to discover what my family life was which I kept from him. I didn't want him to come, worried my husband, the children, neighbors or friends would see his Porsche in the driveway.
He became obsessed about visiting the house, often drove past it and asked detailed questions about its furniture and decor. Pertinacious in seeking to see the house, I eventually gave in and let him come for a quick walk through, supposedly see my decorating. Instead, as expected, he attempted to kiss me. I threw up my hand to cover my mouth and walked outside. He was trying to mark territory and violate my husband's home, a line I couldn’t cross. Relief swept me as his car drove off. Standing in the driveway I felt stupid, knowing I should have never have let him in. I had violated our family home. My husband would never be able to live there if he knew Edward entered his house.
After his house tour, Edward bought a wine storage rack and a mirror for the house saying to think of him whenever I drank wine and he was in the mirror and every time I looked into it, he was admiring me. I did think of him if I drank wine from the wine rack but kept some wine separate to drink at dinner with my husband. In a twist of depravity, the mirror ended up as part of my marriage water bed. After I told “girl at work water bed stories,” hubby made one and unknowingly used the mirror as part of the head board.
No one except my confidant, the older woman at work, knew I was having an affair. Edward was, however, always in my thoughts despite our limited time together. I closed my eyes and saw his face. A brush against my cheek felt like his caress. On occasion, he slipped out of my tongue despite attempts to keep his world secret. Telling the older woman was a way to verbalize what was happening yet keep it from spreading my secret life. Even a spy needs a handler.
I helped the older woman meet her alignment quotas in exchange being able to tell someone about Edward but more importantly for life advice. She provided good insight, was nonjudgmental yet warned about losing a long time good husband for a short time good lover like she mistakenly did. Her advice hit home. Instead of dropping Edward I redoubled camouflage efforts.
To assist keeping from slipping on lies I bought each identical gifts. In response to the Valentine snafu I bought both boxer shorts with little printed bugles. The flow of inter mix, however, was more towards my husband. I upgraded his attire and after shave, changed his hair style and introduced things like sushi, cheeses with toast and red wine.
Our relationship underwent fundamental change. No longer the submissive wife we argued when we never did before. My covert attempts to assuage his anxiety such as fobbing off Edward’s gifts as things I purchased failed to quell his suspicions.
Despite my contrived lies and careful covered tracks, he remained convinced something was amiss. His suspicions there was another, were justified, there was another, not just Edward but another me. The woman he married was no longer the woman he was married to. The marriage of our original vows was over. We were in a new marriage both of us were struggling to adjust to.
Author Notes: The struggle of placating 2 men results in my betraying both.