Althoug I remained a wife and mother after my affair ended, I was not the same as the girl at the wedding alter. Edward had changed me permenatly. Even though he was no longer present I acted for his approval.
I continued to work in Silicon Valley as a wafer fab aligner on swing shift, was accepted at work as one of the "girls", enjoyed their company but remained aloof. In truth, I was not like them even though I tried to be so. My 12 years of parochial schooling had left their indelible mark.
I also yearned for the part of me lost when Edward left, the attention of my prince. Each day I dressed, put on makeup, dabbed on perfume I did so for his absent approval. He too left an indelible mark. I remained his Asian doll.
Still it was not enough. I missed his smile, voice, caress and sophistication. That’s what I told myself. In truth, I missed the affair’s forbidden excitement. No longer were noon times the highlight of my day. Friday nights slipped by uneventful.
He also left me with a conflicting trinity, my mind, God the father, my heart, my loving family, Jesus Christ and Vixen my Un-Holy Spirit. Suppressed by mind and heart Vixen struggled to break free. She yearned Edward's stroking and meowed,
You’re neglecting me! Don’t forget me! Please, please me! I want it now!
Like the Siamese cats in the Disney movie, Lady and the Tramp she hummed the lyrics twisted to:
I am horny if you please
I am horny if you don't please
There is no finer Vixen than I am
If I like, I let you pet me quite a while
Meow, meow, Vixen, wants it now, now.
After almost a year of marriage fidelity I would be driving and she would suddenly meow and say she wanted an affair, now, now. My breasts would flush in agreement. My mind and heart overruled and Vixen sulked. Soon, however, they were all humming the ditty.
We are horny if you please
We are horny if you don't please
There are no finer than we
If we like we let you pet us quite a while
Meow, meow we want it now, now.
While aligning at work the ditty would pop up with Edward’s image. In the spring of 1978, a year after he walked on the plane and out of my life, an engineer walked in. He was fixing equipment at Nortec where I worked on contract. Vixen didn’t flirt for his attention, she didn’t even notice him. Instead he boldly approached while I was bent over aligning and asked.
“Hi good looking, How, about having lunch together in the cafeteria at break time.”
Looking up from my microscope and refocusing, I scanned him over. His alignment pleased me.
“I don’t eat cafeteria food. I bring my lunch. Cafeteria food’s bad.”
“I know but I didn’t bring lunch. You can sit with me while you eat yours. I’m just asking for us to sit together.”
“You’re pushy. I’m aligning now. Pick a seat and when I go to lunch I’ll decide if I want to sit with you.”
When I carried my lunch bag to the cafeteria he was sitting alone at a table in a far corner. I decided to sit with him briefly and then go to my girl’s table. I sat across from him, opened my plastic lunch container and nibbled on the chicken I'd brought but didn’t look at him. He finally asked.
"Cat got your tongue? It’s okay. I’m glad you decided to sit with me. What’s your name?
I looked up.
“Cobra, are you venomous?”
“Careful, I might bite you.”
My tongue darted out in warning.
“How about you and me, we go on a date? Let me see if I can charm you."
"So am I".
"Í don't see a ring".
"Don't wear one but I'm married."
He was 10 years older, good looking but bald on top and a bit on the short side, say 5 feet 9. I figured Italian. He had a nice voice and smelled good. He was sure of himself in demeanor, an Alpha male. I looked directly at him.
"Are you good enough to date me?"
He didn’t flinch or look away but smiled, self-assured.
"I'm good, yes, very good. If you go on a date with me then you will know I’m good too."
I knew the best response was to mock him. I was never, ever, going to be his F and F. I wanted a prince Edward, an Omega.
"Who are you and what do you do here?"
"I'm self-employed. I’m an electrical engineer working on contract. Companies contract me when equipment breaks down. I fix it. You can call me Enrico."
I looked directly at him, again darted out my tongue for his attention.
"I'm Elenor. You can call me Cobra. You may be good but I've never dated a Mexican electrician. My husband’s an engineer."
Insulted he replied,
"I'm an electrical engineer, not an electrician and I am Italian not Mexican."
Knowing Italians tended to look down on both I retorted.
"Well you look Mexican or maybe Portuguese."
He smiled instead of protesting. He realized I was teasing.
"Where would you take me on your date?"
"Where ever you like."
"I like shopping, my husband never takes me."
"I’ll take you shopping".
"You need to be a real engineer to afford what I like. You need a good credit card. I like nice things."
Laughing at my brashness he replied.
"I like to be treated nice by girls I buy nice things for."
"Get me perfume so I can smell good for you."
"That's for you to decide. I need to know if you are as good as you claim. Are you Cheap Charlie cologne or Good time Charlie perfume?"
"I'm Good Time Charlie Perfume, you'll see."
Finished munching my chicken I replied.
"You better go fix the equipment or they’ll contract another to do it."
I got up and went to the girls table. They had been watching from afar and began their innuendos and teasing as I sat down.
The next lunch shift, he was sitting at the same table with a wrapped little box. I opened it. It was Shalimar, a half ounce.
Setting it on the table I glibly replied.
"A half ounce, you’re only good for half a date?"
He stared, stunned with no cocky smile. He took the package and wrapping, put them in his coat pocket and left without a word. It didn’t matter if we went out or not. If we did it was going to be on my terms. That was what my mind said but Vixen said a half ounce was fine.
The next lunch he had an ounce bottle, boxed but unwrapped as if to say he too was indifferent.
I opened the box then the bottle and applied dabs behind my ears and on my wrists. After a few moments to merge with my scent I placed one wrist under his nose.
It was our first contact. He lost his indifference. I lifted my hair on one side and let him put his face to the nape of my neck and sniff. I was wearing the dangling gold and pearl earrings of Edward yore. He attempted to kiss my neck but I pulled back and told him.
"We're not on a date yet."
Tired of my banter he replied.
"Are we going out or not?"
"I would if I had something to wear."
"What, a nightie"?
"I need a sexy dress and shoes to be nice to a man on a date."
I wrote my sizes on a napkin to let him know I was serious. He was upset as if I was making him a fool. I got up, left to the girl’s table but turned around on leaving, smiled as a flirt and said.
"Make sure you don't get half a dress and one shoe."
"It better not be half a date."
"I don't do half dates."
The next shift, Thursday, he wasn’t there. I assumed his interest had waned. Friday, however, he showed up for my lunch break and explained he was working at another facility.
"I got you a dress and shoes in my car, you want to see them?"
"Get them and I will try them on in the ladies’ room. If they look good I will let you see me wear them."
I wasn’t going to degrade myself rushing to his car as if I was a cheap F and F. He came back with an Emporium bag and handed it to me. I didn’t look inside but went to the ladies’ room and examined them. The blue with white embroider dress quality was okay but the shoes weren’t what I would pick for the dress. Still, together they made their statement.
He wanted to sex things up. I put them on. The dress hem was 3 inches above my knees. The 3-inch heels pushed me forward. I put the dress and shoes I wore to work in the bag in my locker.
With smock over my new dress, I strode back to his isolated table. Walking across the cafeteria I crossed foot steps to provide emphasis of the high heels. Their clicking on the floor raised the heads of the girls at my regular table.
At his table he stared down at my feet in the shoes he selected and smiled.
"How’d you like the dress."
I lifted my smock as if to show the dress but pinched the dress as well so it rose with the smock. He briefly saw my panties.
I dropped the smock, bent over and crossed my arms as if embarrassed.
"The dress looks great on you. You promised a date."
"Meet me Sunday, 10 in in the morning, at the Stanford Mall fountain."
"Not more shopping?"
"I said I liked shopping but my husband never takes me."
I got up, took a few steps with heels clicking to go back to work, stopped and turned back to him. He obviously had been watching my posterior sway. I opened the front of the smock so he could see the dress then left with him smiling at the table.
The girls quizzed me but I told them I was just teasing and wasn’t interested.
“He’s a joke. If you girls want him he’s yours. You can have the shoes too.”
Author Notes: She tries to control and manipulate an engineer met a work by banter but is struggling with herself.