Am I Still in Love With You

How should I answer this? How? How should I conclude without being disrespectful to my very emotions of you from time gone. After all I had loved you with all that I had and in every way I could have. Gosshh, you were my every dream, every thought and all I had wanted was to hug you from way up so near and make your heart go flutter and your grin, bigger.

You were my bestest pal , my human diary and I was so adamant to make you see me with love. Oh that my innocent heart was madly in love with you, your every word itched on my memory, your laugh echoed in my ear each night I went to sleep. I knew that wouldn't be me to whom you would turn to in your sleep but gossshhh, my love wanted to please. So each day I woke up wondering does he loves me too? Sweet thing is a girl like me in love, so oblivious to world.

My eyes teared up every time my overthinking mind turned and screamed what if I was being mean and not so considearate of your feelings. What if all you saw in me was everything but love. You see, I was hooked on you. So I pretended that you loved me too in that tiny tiny one nth space of your heart. I never did say sorry for that. So today I ask, forgive me. You were always so nice and I've always been naive.

That year I dreamt almost every day of you disappearing from room to room and Ah! Me being me, I told you too. I cried buckets on that night watching 'Homeless to Harvard' not knowing why I was in so much tear. Later I realised it was my telepathic heart. It somehow knew before me that you were now forever not mine to love. That's how I know now, it was so real from my heart and soul.

I don't excatly know how or when I fell out of love with you. I think no one really knows that sort of thing. You really can't say. It happened over time I guess. My heart was so much consumed in pain over my loss that it didn't think at all. All I did was wake up , eat , cry behind doors hour after hour, and lay sleepless at night. And when you didn't show up for me when I had needed you, I understood I was no where irreplaceable for you and that was when I let go of the hope that you would want to be a part of my crazy words. Now that I'm better, I couldn't help but wonder when did I loose my romantic inclination? Funny it may sound but I still couldn't figure that out. It doesn't matter really. When i reflect upon all that had gone, I know what does matters is your opinion of me. So please do not be mad at me. And that's how I know that although I'm no more in love with you but I'll always love you. A piece of my heart will always remain yours and you will remain my favourite among the men i go on to love (Honestly; I'm sure I can't take the parade of men over my heart so i hope I again get lucky enough to send my heart packing for someone just like you)

You already feel so far away and somehow we have become strangers again. I don't know if there's any going back to call you my bestest pal or you would let me but I'm not sorry that I gave my heart once to you. You made me want to do it all. And for that I would always be grateful to you because to always have something to look forward to is a bliss in life.

I will forever adore you. My only regret that I didn't get to see you from near.

- With much missing

Author Notes: From my heart to his; May your heart goes on to hold all the joys and love. And I hope, through the rides of the wonderful life which awaits you and is right around the corner , you forget me never. And I wish I could be a part of your smiles but even if I couldn't, I hope you will remember me.

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