Some things are important, like going to school, walking the dog, and saying your prayers. Some people are important like firefighters, doctors, and nurses. But the most important people that I knew was the Important family living across the street from me. They were so important that Important was engraved on a wooden plaque above their front door. Their welcome mat was Important too. Their mail had Important written at the top of it and even their car was not only an Important family car, but it was also an import.
You see, Important was their name. Mom was named Mrs. Very Important and Dad was Mr. Un Important. Brother and sister also had Important names. Brother was Not Important and Sister was Unusually Important, but her boyfriend sometimes called her very important, which was her Mom's name.
When a few neighborhood kids rang the Important door bell, Mrs. Very Important would answer. The kids wanted to see if her son could come out and play. Mrs. Important would ask, “Who do you want to see?” And the kids would say, “It’s Not Important.” She thought they were being rude and replied, “Well if it’s not important to you, then why are you here?” Mrs. Important then closed the Important door on them. So, Not Important did not have many friends growing up, and he felt unimportant, which was his Dad’s name.
Mr. Un Important loved pizza, thin crispy pizza, stuffed, or deep pan, the style was unimportant to him. Friday evening was pizza night and he ordered four large important pizzas for pickup. Each family member loved different toppings, it was very important to order a veggie pizza for Very Important. Not Important liked bacon, whether it was Canadian bacon or smokehouse bacon was not important to Not Important. No onions and no green peppers was unusually important for Unusually Important. She had a serious boyfriend and it was unusually important that she not have onion breath. It was also unusually important that she didn't eat green peppers because her really important allergy medication recommended that Unusually Important should avoid them.
Mr. Un Important went to pick up the Important pizza and waited in the carry out line. It is important to note that the pizza place had just opened, each order was important to the round hairy armed pizza manager, especially the Important’s large pizza order which was for four large pizzas.
The black handlebar mustache on the manager almost reached both of his ears. He thanked Mr. Important for his order and said, “Your business is really important to us," which was Un Important's wife's name.
” Mr. Un Impotant said, “Exactly, I would hope so, we are an Important Family to everyone we know.” The manager thought he was being arrogant. Mr. Important stood waiting and then asked, "Excuse me do you have an Important pizza order?"
The manager wiped his overgrown brow and replied, "Well sir all of our orders are important, your order is not anymore important than any other."
"Well, Not Important is the one who wanted Canadian bacon," mentioned Mr. Important.
"Who did?" asked the manager.
"It's Not Important," Mr. Important replied.
The manager was quite irritated and said, "First you said it's important, then it's not, which is it?"
"Well a veggie pizza is very important for Very Important and no onions and green peppers is unusually important for Unusually Important," Mr. Important replied.
The manager lost his cool, threw down his pepperoni stained apron and yelled out, "You unimportant little man, if you think you are so important, then stand in back of the line."
Two hours later Mr. Un Important drove his important import up the Important driveway and into the Important three car garage with a large order of four large cold pizzas.
The next day Mrs. Very Important went to the beauty salon, she walked up to the counter and said, "Hi, I’m Very Important and I have an appointment.” The receptionist put down her phone and said, “All of our appointments are very important, there are no appointments that are not important."
"Of course there are no appointments for Not Important, he already had a hair cut, but I’m Very Important," stated Mrs. Important
“No you're not,” the receptionist replied.
"Why are you calling me Not? Do I look like a short haired 12 year old boy? Do you really think I'm Not Important, when I'm really Very Important," Mrs. Important related.
It was very important for Mrs. Very Important to get her hair done, so much so that she took out her Very Important driver's license and showed the receptionist just how very important her Very Important name was.
An hour later Mrs. Important came home with a graceful hair style and a smile on her very important face. That night the Important Family got ready for an important eight hours of sleep. Outside of the Important's windows was an unusual tapping and rapping noise.
It was Unusually Important’s boyfriend who was unusually important in her life. He was throwing gravel at the most Important house on the street.
The rocks missed Unusually Important's balcony and hit a window, it was Not Important and the rocks were really important. Not Important pulled his blinds that made him blind to the ground below. He gazed out of his Important window an asked, “Who’s there?” It was important for Not Important to find out who was throwing rocks at the Important house.
The young man answered, "It’s Unusually Important who I want to see, are you her brother, what is your name?"
"It’s Not Important," replied Not Important.
"Well it’s important to me because I want to marry into your Important Family, "replied Unusually Important's boyfriend.
"Well, what is your name? asked Not Important."
"I am Quite," replied the boyfriend.
"Quite what? asked Not Important.
"My name is Quite Insignificant," relayed the boyfriend
" I don’t think your name should be quite insignificant, it should be important, " replied Not Important.
" No! That is my name, I am Quite Insignificant, " the boyfriend passionately raised his voice.
He continued, "I'm Quite Insignificant!"
Not Important took a moment to reflect and said, "Well I wish you showed significantly more confidence, but it's not important, and that’s me!"
They both yelled, "Right!"
Unusally Important finally opened her balcony door..
"Hello Quite, I missed you quite alot," Unusually Important whispered loudly, which was an oxymoron, although others called her a foxymoron.
Quite took out his guitar and played her an important song, his eyes sparkled under his insignificant hat. He sang a song from the significant and important Tom Jones, and it went something like this, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone." It was Unusual that inspired love. After the song, he, Quite not Tom Jones, kneeled down on his insignificant knee and looked up at the Unusually Important balcony.
"It’s unusually important for me to have you, Unusually Important, in my life!"
"Will you marry me?" pleaded Quite.
She leaned over her balcony and beemed, "Yes, Quite! I would love to be your wife, you are quite the man in my life."
Mr. and Mrs. Important, dressed in Important pajamas, looked on from their fully opened bedroom window. It was Very Important who remarked, "Just think, our daughter will be Mrs. Quite Insignificant, I guess she won’t be Important anymore."
Author Notes: An Important read, what's in a name? A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, but it would be less important.