Sticks and stones may break my bones
But food will make me fat
Sugars, carbs, grains and starches
Of course I don't want that
One bite of food and I'll be screwed
I should put down the fork and knife
I'll let ana in
Then I'll be thin
She'll steal my whole damn life.
Did you eat today?
Sure I did
I ate plenty of lonely
With a side of regret
And a sprinkling of pure sadness
And for dinner
I ate my tears
And I watched my blood eat me alive
And suddenly I wasn't so hungry anymore.
I want thighs that don't touch
I want ribs that will show
I want my spine to stick out
I want both legs to bow
I want my collar bones noticed
I want my stomach unfed
And if I cannot be skinny
Then I want to be dead.
All that's left will be your bones
No flesh, no warmth, nothing to love
And still those dreaded souls will say
"Just not thin enough."
An innocent scratch to ease the pain
A skipped meal to ensure you don't gain
A wasted day lying in bed
You're left wondering what demons live in your head
You hate yourself and the mirror brings tears
"You're ugly, you're worthless" is all the brain hears
No one can fix you, that's what you tell yourself
This is the torture known as mental health.
When I was younger
I used to hear
5 years later
I sit and think