'The beginning of the end' Amanda thought to herself as she realized that everything was falling apart. Well... it's not like things were good before, things were horrible. But now, it was getting worse. Her whole life was a living hell.
Her mom and dad got divorced when she was 5 and they both left Amanda with her aunt and uncle. Her dad came home drunk everyday and her mom left to meet new guys leaving Amanda with her drunk dad. She is glad that she doesn't know where her parents are now.
"Slut" "Whore" "Hoe" "Player" is now Amanda's new nicknames in school. Her seventh grade classmates don't know much about her except that she endlessly dates guys. For the first month of school, she dated a guy named John who didn't really like her so she had to breakup with him. Then the next few months she'd date a guy she doesn't even like then break up with them.
Amanda had dark brown hair with blonde highlights. She was always laughing and she made sure that the people around her were happy. She wasn't bad looking, but she wasn't flawless either. Guys liked her but they didn't like the idea that she "used" guys. She knew what she was doing and she knew that it was wrong but she liked the idea of being "liked" and cared by someone.
In March, a guy named Tom asked her out. Amanda, as usual, said yes. They texted each other day and night, and they were inseparable at school. Over time, Amanda learned that Tom was suicidal. He would want to kill himself over the smallest things.
That was the answer to end her nightmares.... suicide. Her and Tom always talked to each other about how their lives sucked and how much they wanted to kill themselves, and over time, she fell in love with him. They thought of a future that no one else would think of. They gave each other hope and a reason to live. But, this wasn't love.
When Amanda was talking to her 'friend' about Tom, she heard that Tom was cheating on her with a girl named Julia. She was pretty and flawless... Amanda couldn't beat that. Over time, the joyful smile on her face had faded.
Wanting to break up with Tom, she told him about what she had heard. Tom kept saying that he was going to kill himself if she broke up with him. So, they stayed together. And Amanda slowly died.
After a few days, a guy named Christian in her art class had noticed that Amanda was acting different than usual. So, wanting to make sure she was ok, he texted her. He listened to all her problems and her life story and helped her through it as Amanda helped him through his problems. Christian had called her his 'little sister' and they would talk and hang out all the time.
One day, a group of guys were giving Amanda a hard time after school as she walked home. "Whore" the first guy said. "You should die in a hole" said the second guy. Amanda tried to ignore them and just walk away but they kept coming after her. Tom was too busy with Julia to notice anything. Then, out of nowhere, Christian came and he scared the guys away. He was almost the scariest and strongest guy in school. Only an idiot would mess with him. Amanda gave him a smile and ran home.
When no one was home, she gathered all the pills she could find and got a cup of water. She opened a bottle of pills and spilled them on her hand. "10...9...8...7" Just when she was about to swallow the pills, Christian texted her, 'DONT DO IT! I dont want my sister to die'
She dropped her pills and called him
'Thanks for saving me'~ Amanda
'Anytime little sis'~ Christian
'I'm not little'~ Amanda
'Says the girl who couldn't save herself'~ Christian
'Oh shut up'~ Amanda
'But seriously though, don't die'~ Christian
'I don't see a reason to live'~ Amanda
'I need you sis' ~ Christian
'Haha alright, I'll stay for you then' ~ Amanda
'Thank you. Wanna hang out tonight?' ~Christian
'Yeah. Sure' ~ Amanda
'I love you little sis' ~Christian
'...I love you too big brother' ~ Amanda
Moments later, she cleaned up her mess and got ready to go out. They had decided to meet up at the park where they always hung out. Amanda had arrived late but Christian wasn't there. She waited for a little bit then decided that he wasn't coming. She left him a voice mail when he didn't pick up her call. Then headed home.
A week later, there was still no news from Christian. By then , Amanda had finally broken up with Tom. So, she was finally happy, and she wanted to share her happiness with her 'big brother'. That day, the principal announced that Christian had died in a car accident.
Amanda skipped her classes and decided to go to the park instead. She cried and cried until there were no more tears. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you," she whispered to herself.
After many days of depression, Amanda realized that she needed Christian just as much as he needed her. He was the only reason that she dropped those pills and decided to live.
Amanda made sure that she told her friends and family that she loved them before making her way to the cliff near where she lives.
As she stood at the edge of the bridge, she replayed her whole life in her head and apologized for never being good enough. She apologized for being a Whore and a slut. She apologized for making her own life miserable. Whispered to herself 'Angels can fly'
Then she jumped.
Author Notes: Everyone needs a reason, a hope, or a faith, or I don't know.. just something to live for.