Anxiety

Anxiety… where to start? It’s that feeling that you need to sleep but you feel restless.

It’s when you hear a knock on the door and automatically want to be protected.

It’s stillness and chaos entwined into each other… it’s order and imbalance imploding on one other.

You can’t eat, you can’t sleep, you can’t focus and you want to creep away.

Disappear into the darkness, a safe place where nothing can reach you.

Anxiety is when you are in a room with many people and feel everyone watching you.

It’s double checking to lock your door at night, ‘just to make sure’.

Its life threatening and life ruining. You can’t breathe and you feel like you are stuck and you can't break free.

Moving fast but not getting anywhere. Doing everything and feeling as if you’ve done nothing.

Anxiety is getting 10 hours of sleep and then feeling like you didn’t sleep at all.

You feel worthless and useless. It starts to build up and you start to panic, unable to breathe, unable to stand.

The weight of the world crushing you, and its grasp starts to suffocate you no matter where you are.

It’s the nervousness of being in public and always feeling as if something bad will happen.

It’s randomly getting dizzy and feeling nauseous, you starve yourself because if you eat you throw up.

You will be talking and then suddenly stop because you’ve been told you talk too much.

Its trusting someone to open up then being torn apart, so after a while you just stop talking, stop trying, just barely existing.

It’s being in a crowded room and feeling the most alone you’ve ever been.

Wanting to stay at home because then you don’t have to worry about doing something wrong.

Anxiety is real and at one point you just stop trying to heal. Anxiety is silent.

You wouldn’t even notice the changes it brings just looking on the outside, but looking in… it’s where you’re so stressed you can’t complete even the simplest of tasks.

You’d view it as lazy, but looking in its the overwhelming amount of stress underneath even the toughest of skin.

It’s the overwhelming fear of pressure to be a success but you just crumble because you can’t find where to even start.

Your scared to even move for fear of doing anything wrong.

You put on your mask and try to hide all this, all the while praying and hoping the anxiety doesn’t take control.

You can never really understand unless anxiety had or has you in its hand.

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