I think it was pretty cool... but I felt like u wanna end the story somehow that's why u started this thing and then the crash and then she died.
I was thinking about her journal and her dad... I can't imagine losing his wife and daughter... I think you should have done something else. I mean... I am not offensive or saying that it is bad and what the hell?? But I am just telling u my opinion.
I hope u understand me! I am kinda blunt but please, understand me!
Sending u love and light!

XOXO,
Sansid

I think the narrator would run between the fighting boys rather than walk between them.

As to the ending, a happy one would perhaps be too easy. The narrator has been associating with the paranormal and that's dangerous in many folk tales and horror stories.

I like this but I wishing for a happy ending.