Barn Find Reviews
Your verbosity at times gets in the way of your story-telling. There are parts of this tale that are tortuous to read due to the sheer number of words you have crammed into a sentence! It is all very well demonstrating your extensive vocabulary... but when it's to the detriment of your work you have gained nothing. I urge you to just TELL YOUR STORY and keep the linguistic gymnastics to a minimum. You will be a much better writer for it.