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Andy (Formerly Apemann) gave a rating of 3

Your verbosity at times gets in the way of your story-telling. There are parts of this tale that are tortuous to read due to the sheer number of words you have crammed into a sentence! It is all very well demonstrating your extensive vocabulary... but when it's to the detriment of your work you have gained nothing. I urge you to just TELL YOUR STORY and keep the linguistic gymnastics to a minimum. You will be a much better writer for it.

DiVitto Hi Andy. Just getting around to your review. I always appreciate a candid review, it's how we get better as writers. Thanks!
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