I am sitting in a little white room, poorly decorated, in a small fuzzy bean bag. While sitting I try to remember why I am here. Then, I remember that I am in the hospital. I know why but it pains me to think about it. I tell myself that it was not my fault and what happened was just my imagination. That this was all an imagination. But I knew what I did, and I knew that it was not my imagination.
So, what exactly did happen? Well I was at home by myself and I was supposed to be studying but I was planning. Planning what? How I would die. I tried to commit suicide. I know you might be thinking wow this girl is such a pussy, or wow that is the easy way out she needs to grow some balls and deal. Well to all those people out their FUCK YOU! I bet you that everyone who is thinking that, or maybe even saying it aloud has never gone what I have gone through. To all the people who have gone through what I am going through, going through it right now, or have/has gone through something like this before you probably understand more than anyone else. I was getting ready ion my room when suddenly, my sister burst into my room. I had a knife in one hand and at that exact moment, I had just finished swallowing two handfuls of 2 of each pill that was prescribed to me. She ran to me took the knife out of my hand. Me being me I was being a stubborn ass and tried to wrestle it out of her hands, cutting my hand. It was not that bad though. She called 911, then my parents. They drove me to the hospital having my parents and my sister meet me there. They would not let her ride in the ambulance with me. Then when I had woken up, I was upset. I did not know where I was, and I did not see my family but there was a lot of people in the room and I was getting angry because none of them were my family. Then I felt a prick in my elbow, and I got calmer. They asked me a couple of questions which I do not remember how I answered, then they attempted me to the mental hospital, where I would stay for two weeks at least.
I had never been here before. I tried to talk but only a squeak came out. There were only three people in the room, but those three people looked at me and then one of them rushed towards me spewing questions at me a hundred mile per hour. I tried to speak yet again this time a tiny work formed and flowed out of my mouth. “Stop.” It was quiet, but just loud enough to get the doctors attention who was rushing at me. He immediately slowed and stopped talking. When he reached me, he asked \me a simple question compared to the bits and pieces I heard of all the other questions that he had been spitting at me.
“May I ask you name?” He said.
“My name is harper.”
“Hi harper, my name is Dr. Ration. I am going to ask you a couple of very simple questions. Tell me if you get to overwhelmed ok?”
“How old are you?”
“What is your favorite color.”
“Do you remember how many people live in your household, and can you name them all?”
“Yes. My mom’s name is Sharrleine, My dad’s name Ricky, and my sister Lana. She is 14.”
“Very good. Thank you for cooperating. Nurse Lucy is going to show you to your room.”