Bless Me

I had been home from the hospital about three days after having my surgery. I am a big tit when it comes to pain and I’m milking it for all it was worth when I realized that no one was home. Dang, I did all that moaning and groaning for nothing.

So I turned out the lights, took my pain meds and turned on the T.V. There was a good spook movie on, something about this ladies baby being the devil or something. Anyway, I feel a sneeze coming on and I just know this is gonna hurt. As I sneezed it sounded like Humpty Dumpty farted. Where the heck did that come from? I think I may have blew out something I needed.

I then noticed that the cross up on the fire place mantle began to glow. So I said “Bless me.” Now I’m pretty spooked by now, strange sounds coming from my mouth when I sneeze, devil movie on T.V., glowing crosses. What in the heck kind of pain meds am I on anyway?

This happened two more times with the cross glowing each and every time. Whenever I sneezed it would glow for about 3 seconds then stop. I’m about two seconds away from hauling my butt down to a neighbors house when Melissa and the kids come in. I explain to them what just happened but they of course think I’m crazy. So I said “Watch this.”

I sneezed and the cross glowed. My oldest son, Josh, took the door smooth off the hinges when he bolted out and my youngest son, Alex, dropped to his knees and started praying. From the look on Melissa’s face she will have to change her drawers soon. She turned on the lights and walked over to the mantle and cracked up laughing. Turned out we had an old digital T.V. remote control that someone had laid up on the mantle below the cross. When you touch it or it feels vibrations it lights up so you can see the numbers.

At least now Josh has learned to do home repairs and Alex has caught some badly needed religion. I think I’m gonna leave it there for awhile and have some fun with people. Just glad I’m not crazy, or am I? I’m just sayin!

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