Blood and Flowers

Chapter 1: Ash

Mom, please wake up. You’re gonna be okay. Please, I need you. I don’t want to be alone. Mom, come on! MOM!!! I woke up in a sweat, my heart racing. Fuck! I had that fucking nightmare again! I groaned as I got up from bed. I headed to the bathroom, got undressed, stepped into the shower and turned the hot water on. It felt like a thousand fucking needles over my body. Then again, I should be used to pain by now. Sure, there’s the physical pain that comes from being an underground MMA fighter for the past 2 years. What hurts even more is the emotional pain. The sound of my little boy cries as one police officer takes me away from my asshole of an abusive father, while another pins him to the ground. The sight of my mother’s dead body, open with multiple gunshot wounds, as she lays next to him. The feeling of wanting to die myself because I had no one else. Shit, the thoughts are coming back again.

That was seven years ago. Now I’m 18 and I’ve just started my freshman year at college. The cops gave up on my mother’s murder case a long time ago. Knowing he got away with what he did was something I don’t think I’ll ever get over. I turn the faucet off, step out of the bathtub, dry myself off and wrap a towel around my waist. I go to my room and try to find some good clothes to wear. I say “try” because most of my clothes are crap. They’re either old and torn, have splatters of blood from my fights or smell like cigarette smoke. Finally, I find clothes that look decent enough. I put on a light blue T-shirt, a black leather jacket, blue jeans and green sneakers. I looked in the mirror and combed my spiky brown hair. My dark blue eyes looked almost grey. Probably because of that damn nightmare. I walked to the kitchen and ate breakfast.

Just as I was about to walk out the door, I felt a pat on my back. It was my uncle Peter, who was also my manager. He was almost like the father I should have had. After my mom, his sister, died, he moved me into his house.and trained me to be an MMA fighter. I started getting paid for my fights when I was 16. I figured if I was gonna kick and punch assholes while trying to forget about my shitty past, I might as well be getting paid for it. Peter said I could save it for college and he would pay for the house by using the money he made from the gym he owned. I usually go there after hours to train, because it’s crowded as hell during regular hours. I turned around. “Hey, Peter.” “Ash! What’s up, kid!” He shouted with a big grin on his face. I swear, Peter had the energy of a teenager. It almost makes me smile...almost. “Ok, I guess,” I nonchalantly responded. “I’m about to go to school now. What’s up?” “I booked this fight for you. It’s tonight. This could be your biggest payoff yet!” He shouted, sounding more excited than me. “Great, thanks,” I said. After my nightmare, it was great to hear some good news. “Oh, one more thing,” he added. “If you’re takin’ my bike, you better not scratch it,” he smirked. “Yeah, yeah,” I replied. I couldn’t help but smile. When I was in high school and started competing, Peter bought me a motorcycle. When I saw it, I grinned from ear to ear. I was fortunate that he didn’t rub that in. “Alright kid, I’ll see you later.” “Yeah, see ya.” I walked out the door, put on my helmet and mounted my bike. As I revved up the engine, I tried to forget about my nightmares. I knew they would never go away, but when I ride it’s the only peace I seem to get in my life. The college I went to wasn’t far from my apartment--it’s not like I was driving on the highway or anything--but any chance I got to feel like an unstoppable badass was good enough for me.

Just as I was about to park my bike and head inside my dorm I heard a small, shaking voice: “Please, just leave me alone. I don’t want to.” What the fuck? I turned the corner and saw a guy with short, pointy, blond wearing a dark blue shirt, dark pants and white shoes leaning against a shy, innocent girl who had her back to the side of a building. She had chestnut brown hair that was held together in a side ponytail with 2 pink heart-shaped hair clips. She wore a light brown sweater with a pink and black-striped scarf wrapped around her neck. She wore a skirt and knee-high socks that matched her scarf and black boots. Instantly, my blood started to boil and my hands tightened into fists. When I was younger my mom always told me to treat girls and women with respect. I guess no one told this asshole that… or my father, for that matter. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. “Come on, baby. Let’s have some fun together.” He wasn’t taking no for an answer. “Excuse me, I believe she said she didn’t want to,” I said. My voice was calm but there was rage in my eyes. They both turned to look at me. The girl seemed to be more scared of me than this douchebag. An uneasy feeling came over me but I ignored it. “Get outta here, loser! This has nothing to do with you!” He shouted. Strike one. I stomped towards him. “Unless you want to spend some time in the hospital, I suggest you leave her alone,” I growled. He chuckled and then swiftly punched me in the gut. I stumble backwards while holding my stomach. Fucker. Strike two. “What will you do if I don’t?” he taunted. He turned around and started touching the girl’s arms and legs and kissing her on the cheek. “No! Please!” she cried. Strike three. I was going to fucking end this bastard.

I swiftly punched him on the side of the face. “What the fuck?!” he yelled. Before he could recover, I elbowed him in the chest and then delivered a swift roundhouse kick to his head. He fell on the ground like a sack of potatoes. You’re out. I stepped on his throat. “Listen closely,” I said with clenched teeth. “If I ever see you come close to this girl again, you can forget about a hospital. I’ll put you in a fucking cemetery.” I let him get up. He had a black eye and bruises on his body and throat. He struggled to catch his breath. “This isn’t over, jackass!” he bellowed before running away. I turned to the girl who was sitting on the ground with tears running down her face. Shit. I kneeled down in front of her. My heart was running faster than a cheetah going after a deer. I looked over her body, wanting to make sure there were no marks on her but not wanting to touch her. I didn’t want to think about what that dickhead might have done to her if I hadn’t showed up.

“Thank you,” she said in a small, quivering voice. Then, she gave me the sweetest, most beautiful smile I had ever seen. It reminded me of the way my mom smiled when she told me she loved me. What the hell?! “Yeah, sure,” I simply said, trying to ignore all these feelings that shouldn’t have been there. As I walked over to my bike she called out: “Wait! I’m sorry, I didn’t tell you my name. It’s Emily.” When I turned around I got to completely see her for the first time. Wow, she’s beautiful. Damn it all! “I’m Ash,” I said. “Ash…” she repeated, mostly to herself. “You know, you really should be more careful, Emily. There are a lot of bastards who could take advantage of a sweet, innocent girl like you,” I told her, realizing I sounded like an asshole. She shivered and looked down. Before I could apologize she looked up at me and said: “Yeah, I know. I’ve been told that before.” She tried to give me another smile, but this one seemed forced. Great, I’ve upset her. She walked towards me. My body froze because I had no idea what she was doing. “I really don’t know how I’ll ever repay you for saving me.” I didn’t even try to stop the smile that grew on my face. I patted her on the head. “Don’t worry about it, Emily. Just stay safe.” I mounted my bike, put on my helmet and revved up the engine. As I drove away, I briefly looked back and saw her hands over her heart as she gave me another angelic smile. My heart was flipping when it should have stayed the fuck still. I knew Emily thought I was her hero but...but what she didn’t know was that I was actually way more dangerous than the scumbag I had just saved her from.

Chapter 2: Emily

As he drove away, I finally let out the breath I was holding. Why did I have this feeling that even though Ash saved me, I should be scared of him? Was it the look of intensity in his eyes when he beat up that guy? The way he clenched his teeth? The way his muscles contracted under his clothes? No, no! Get it together, Emily! I shouldn’t be thinking about that. It’s not like I’m ever going to see him again, anyway. I should be grateful Ash came when he did. If he hadn’t and the worst happened to me, I don’t think I would recover. I could end up like my sister, Zoey. My parents certainly wouldn’t be able to recover.They can’t go through something like that again. I shook my head, trying to escape those horrible thoughts. I took out my phone from the pocket of my sweater and tried to turn it on. Oh, that’s right. I forgot to turn it off before I went to sleep last night and now it’s dead. I sighed. I just needed to get to my dorm room and charge it. Great. Just one month into my freshman year of college and I’m already failing. I walked into my building, took the elevator to the 3rd floor and entered my room. I plugged my phone into an outlet to charge it and took a nap.

When I woke up two hours later, I checked my phone and saw that it was 100% charged. I also noticed that my childhood friend David had texted me several times. My heart sank. I couldn’t have imagined how worried he must have been...especially after what happened today. I called him. “Hello?” “Hi, David.” “Emily! Where have you been!” he shouted into the phone. I almost laughed. David’s always been protective of me like that. “I’m okay. I’ve just been busy. I realized my phone was dead so I took a nap while it charged.” I felt guilty for not telling David what happened, even though I’m okay. I wondered if David would have been able to save me the way Ash did. My mind wandered as I thought about them. They couldn’t be more different. David had short, golden blond hair and golden eyes that shined like the sun. Ash had messy brown hair and dull grayish blue eyes. David was slim and lanky. Ash was bulky and muscular. Why can’t I get Ash off of my mind?! “Emily, are you still there?” I heard David ask. I shook my head. “Yeah, I’m here.” “You didn’t fall asleep again, did you?” he joked. “No, I didn’t,” I giggled. I looked at my digital clock: 12:00 noon. “I’m going to go get some lunch. Do you want to come?” I asked. “Sure. I’ll meet you in the food court,” he said. We hung up at the same time. This is what I need. Seeing David and having a full stomach will help me stop thinking about Ash.

David and I sat at a brown wooden table in the food court. We both had two slices of pepperoni pizza. He was wearing his favorite outfit: a black and white-striped shirt, purple slack pants and matching purple shoes. “So, what have you been up to, Emily?” he asked with a friendly smile. I almost got assaulted, but was saved by the hottest, most dangerous guy I had ever seen.. “Oh, nothing,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t see through me. “Are you still working at that flower shop?” “Yeah. It’s amazing,” I grinned. Zoey loved flowers. My parents used up any extra savings they had to buy the flower shop. I’ve been working there for the last two years and I love it. It’s only a few blocks away from campus. My parents live an hour away from campus, so I don’t see them as much as when I was in high school. David knew about what happened to Zoey. He knows I don’t like talking about her, but I don’t mind talking about the flower shop. “Have you decided your major yet,” David asked. I knew he was still undecided. “Yes. I am going to be a major in floriculture with a minor in business.” “Sounds like you want to be a flower shop entrepreneur,” he said as he ruffled my hair...kind of like how Ash did earlier. I’m hopeless. “I don’t know about that,” I chuckled..

“Hey, guys!” we heard a voice shout. We turned around and saw Carrie walking towards us. David and I had known Carrie since we were freshmen in high school. They have been dating for a year. Carrie lived in the dorm room next to mine. Like David, Carrie knew about Zoey. Carrie and I had a lot in common, especially flowers. Her mom often covered the inside and outside of her house with them, both real and plastic ones. Flowers...they made me think of Zoey. No, not again. Only positive thoughts, Emily. Carrie had short, midnight blue hair, and a yellow X-shaped hair clip. She wore a white top, a blue and red-striped tie, a balck skirt, black thigh-high socks and black shoes. I know that her major is criminal justice because both of her parents are police officers, but she would fit in perfectly as a fashion major. “Hi, Carrie,” I smiled. She hugged and kissed David on the cheek, then sat next to me. “Are you working at your family’s flower shop later today?” she asked with anticipation in her voice. “Yes. Where is your mom decorating now?” Carrie rolled her eyes. “The kitchen. I think she might start cooking all the flowers in the house and then eat them.” We all burst out laughing. “Let’s go hang out in the courtyard. It’s only late August so it’s still nice outside,” David suggested. “Great idea,” I beamed.

. As we walked outside and headed towards the courtyard we heard a loud, rumbling sound. We all covered our ears. “What the heck is that?!” David shouted. When the rumbling stopped we looked forward. My heart skipped a beat. Ash stepped off his motorcycle and hung up his helmet on one of the handlebars. His brown hair looked even messier than before. What is he doing here?! Wait, does he go to school here, too? He looked up at me and gasped. “Emily,” he mouthed. My emotions were all over the place. I wanted to walk over and talk to him. Yet, there was that voice in the back of my head telling me to stay away. Why was that voice there in the first place? Sure, Ash drove a motorcycle, had clearly been in a lot of fights and had an edgy, almost scary, attitude. Still, how bad could a guy be if he saves a girl from getting… “Uh, Emily? You okay,?” David asked while waving a hand in front of my face. I shook my head. “Yeah,” I breathed out. “Emily, do you know that guy?” Carrie asked, her face practically glowing. “Maybe you could introduce me. He is so hot!” Not as hot as my face, which was probably hot enough to melt ice.

What should I do? If I walk away and pretend I don’t know him, he might get mad at me. If I walk up to him, he might not want to talk to me. It’s not like we’re friends or anything...right? Plus, if one of us brings up what happened, David will get mad at me for not telling him. I started shaking and my breathing was erratic. It brought me back to the attack, which then made me think of Zoey. Why was this happening? I heard David and Carrie gasp. Then, I heard a rough voice ask, “Is she okay?” I knew it had to be Ash. Sure enough, there he was, his hands on my shoulders, his eyes full of concern. How long was I in my own mind? It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Ash, my hero, was in front of me. Once again I was both happy and scared, and I had no idea why.

Chapter 3: Ash

We go to the same school. We go to the same school. That thought kept repeating in my head like a broken record. So much for staying away from Emily. I’ve spent all morning telling myself to stay away from Emily because I’m not the good guy she thinks I am. When I saved her, I thought I was just doing what any decent human being would do. But, the smile on her face afterwards made me feel a warmth I hadn’t felt since my mom was still alive. Despite how scared she was, I could still tell that she was covered in a ray of sunshine; I’m forever surrounded in a blanket of darkness. Nothing was going to change that. She didn’t deserve to be dragged into my fucked-up life. Still, seeing her scared like that did something to me insides. Without thinking, I jogged over to Emily and her friends. “Who are you?” the blond-haired guy asked. “I’m Ash,” I simply said. I could tell this guy was judging me as he looked me up and down: the scars on my face, the muscles on my arms, torso and legs, my street clothes. He was probably Emily’s boyfriend. I almost hoped he was, since I was no good for her. I could give a damn what he thought about me right now. I just wanted to make sure Emily was okay. “How do you know Emily?” the dark blue-haired girl asked. Fuck. How was I supposed to answer that? “It’s kind of a long story,” I replied. I turned away from both of them and put my hands on Emily’s shoulders. “Is she okay?” I asked. “We don’t know. She just looked at you and all of sudden, she started shaking and breathing heavily,” the girl told me. Shit. I was afraid this would happen. Even though I had saved her, she was still scared of me… not that I would blame her.

After about 30 more seconds, Emily slowly opened her eyes and her breathing returned to normal. “Ash…” she breathed out. God, her sweet voice was like an angel whispering. Suddenly, her eyes opened wider and she turned around to see her friends. The dark-haired girl had a sympathetic look on her face, while the guy still seemed highly suspicious. Suddenly, it dawned on me. Fuck! Emily didn't tell her friends about me! Before I could explain myself, Emily cleared her throat. “David, Carrie, this is Ash.” They both turned to me. I had my hands in my pockets and was looking down on the ground.Why was I so nervous?. “I woke up really early this morning because I had to do inventory at the flower shop.” Flower shop? Well, it made sense since this girl was as pretty as a rose. What the fuck?! Since when did I become such a pussy? “As I was walking back to campus a guy wearing the school’s football jersey came up to me and asked me to have some breakfast with him. I could tell he was planning to do more than that, but I tried to be as polite as possible. When I said no, he pushed me against the wall of a nearby building.” “He did what?!” David shouted. “Shh! I want to hear the rest!” Carrie interjected. “I want to hear how Mr. Bad Boy is involved in all of this.” I tried hard not to smirk. Mr. Bad Boy? I liked this girl. “Ash got off his motorcycle and told the guy to leave me alone. He didn’t and he even punched Ash in the stomach. After that, Ash… uh, well, he… uh…” “I beat the shit outta him,” I said gruffly. I hated that Emily was talking about this fucker and making her feel scared all over again. Carrie grinned. “Yeah, and then what?” I could tell she was liking this story. I decided to play along. I re-enacted the scene, showing off my fighting moves. “All right!” Carrie cheered as she raised her fist in the air. “Isn’t that amazing, David?” “I guess,” he simply said. I couldn’t tell if this guy was jealous of my looks, my fighting skills, or how I was able to save Emily when he couldn’t. Regardless, he was definitely jealous… and I kinda liked it.

When Emily finished the story, she let out a sigh of relief. “So, how do you know Emily?” David asked, clearly not impressed. Whatever. Emily was okay. That’s all I cared about. “I also go to school here, but I’m still undecided,” I explained. “Must be a guy thing,” I heard Carrie whisper to Emily. She giggled. God, she’s so sweet. God, I’m such an idiot! Of course I was undecided. I didn’t know what my career was gonna be. I didn’t even know how to get the image of my mom’s dead body out of my mind. “Well, any friend of Emily’s is a friend of mine,” Carrie said. David looked away and checked his watch. “It’s 12:30, Emily. We have to get to our next class,” he told Emily. I could tell he wanted to get Emily away from me. It shouldn’t have pissed me off, but it did. “Okay,” Emily said. She turned to me. “Thank you again, Ash.” She smiled. That damn, beautiful smile again. “No problem.” I smiled back. “I should get going. I have class, too,” Carrie said. All my classes were in the morning, so I pretty much had the whole day to do whatever until I got ready for my fight. As I mounted my bike, I looked over my shoulder to see Emily smiling and laughing as she walked with Carrie and David. Especially David. Fuck. Good thing I have my fight tonight.

After all my classes were done, I ordered pizza then got on my bike and drove to the old, abandoned building where all of my fights were held. I still couldn’t stop thinking about Emily. For once, that actually seemed to be a good thing. Instead of using the anger I had for my father on my opponent, I could use the anger I had for not being able to have Emily. I parked my bike in the garage next to the building and entered through the back door. When I entered the locker room, Peter was already there, sitting on a bench. “Hey, kid! Glad you made it.” He stood up and gave me a fist bump. “Yeah, sure,” I grumbled. I know I always look frustrated before a fight, but tonight I’m sure I looked downright pissed. Peter could tell. “Hey, Ash, what’s up? You don’t look so good,” Peter said, concern palpable in his voice. He only said my name when he could tell something was wrong. “It’s nothing,” I muttered as I turned my head away. He just shrugged. “Alright, then. I’ll see you outside the ring,” he said before he walked out of the locker room. I felt like crap for not telling Peter what happened today, but it’s how I am. I don’t like talking about my shit. It won’t bring my mom back. It won’t bring my dad to justice. It won’t make Emily want to hold me. Fuck! I’m so ready to rumble.

As I stepped out of the locker room after changing into no shirt and red shorts, I tried to think about the positive: punching and kicking the rage out of my body, making money to pay for tuition. That was enough to motivate me and get Emily out of my mind. As I wrapped up my hands and feet, I saw my opponent. He was a big, heavy fucker, muscled but still overweight, tall but not too gigantic. Guys like him were easy to take down. They had a lot of power but shitty technique and speed. I could easily run around him, deliver a few swift uppercuts and high jumps kicks, and be done. As I heard the referee blow the whistle, the demons came back. Dad, why did you do this?! I swiftly ran around ol’ Goliath there and kicked him in the shin. He howled. Mom, wake up! Please wake up! I punched him in the stomach with my left hand and gave him an uppercut to the jaw with my right hand. Why does God hate me?! I gave him a roundhouse kick to the chest. He fell so hard I thought he was going to fall through the mat. I’ll never be able to repay you for saving me. Without realizing what I was doing, I started to punch the large blob relentlessly in the face as he laid on the mat. Thank you again, Ash. Rage was building inside me faster than I could detect it. Teeth and blood fell on the mat before Peter and the referee dragged me off the giant lard. “Cool your shit, Ash! It’s over! You won already!” Peter yelled. I was still gritting my teeth and struggling to breathe. I knew exactly what triggered me: The pain I felt about my parents was nothing compared to the pain I felt about not having Emily. I’m...so...fucking...screwed.

Chapter 4: Emily

Saturday morning. It was one of my favorite times of the week because it was time to open the flower shop. It had been a full day since the attack. Since it was still late summer, the flower shop was almost as packed as it would be at the beginning or middle of summer. During my break, I heard a bell ring as the door opened. It was David and Carrie. “Hey, girl!” Carrie chimed. “Hey,” I waved back. David looked around and his eyes widened. More than half the flowers I had in stock for the morning had been sold already. “Wow, Emily! You sure were busy today.” “Well, busier than I thought I would be.” Then, he hit his forehead. “Oh, man! I just remembered,” he chuckled. “What?” I asked. “I have to finish that Math assignment. I'll see you girls later,” David said as he headed out the door. Carrie and I laughed. Daivd was like this in high school, too. I guess some things never changed.

Carrie leaned her arms on the counter and looked me in my eyes. “So, have you heard from Ash lately?” I tried not to look nervous. “No. Why?” I should have known. Carrie could always see right through me. “Oh, come one, Emily. Don’t tell me he hasn’t been on your mind,” she teased, raising an eyebrow. He has but I’m not letting you know that. “I’ve only thought about the attack, and when you and David met him.” And imagining him working out in a gym, practicing his martial arts moves, no shirt, sweating, muscles flexing… What?! No! Emily, get it together! “If that’s the case, then why is your face as red as a strawberry?” she asked facetiously. Before I could respond, her phone rang. Saved by the bell. She answered it. “Hello. Hi. Really, now? Must be important. Wow, really? Okay, I’ll be right there.” She hung up the phone. “Is everything okay?” I asked. “Yeah. That was my dad. He said he and my mom want me to meet them at the police station. There are a couple of cases that had been closed, even buried, but now they may have more information.” My breath hitched. Could one of them be about Zoey? I regained my composure before she could notice. “Sorry, Emily. I gotta run,” she said before she headed out the door. I tried to make my heart slow down. I know Zoey is never coming back. It’s just hard to accept it. It was also ironic that Carrie’s parents were police officers because the police couldn’t get justice for Zoey. I felt tears form in my eyes. No, Emily. That’s the past. Focus on the present. Easier said than done.

It was 8:00 P.M. when I closed the flower shop. I wasn’t looking forward to the fall because business would be a lot slower. Today was the busiest the shop had been since July. I wouldn’t see a profit like that again until December, before Christmas. Just as I locked the door and started walking down the street I heard a low, rugged voice say: “Hey, Emily.” I sharply turned around. My heart started doing backflips. Ash was sitting on his motorcycle and had just taken off his helmet. His eyes were intense. I expected him to have a cocky smirk on his face; instead, his smile was genuine...almost sweet. Wow. I wasn’t expecting that. “Hi, Ash,” I replied with a shaky breath. We stared at each other in silence for a few seconds. Then, I saw him glance at the flower shop. “So, this is your flower shop. It’s really nice.” Again, that smile. It was more friendly than arrogant, yet still had that bad boy edge about it. I’m sure if Carrie was here, she would have fainted. Who was I kidding? I was trying not to do the same thing. “Yeah, I just closed up,” I said, acting like it was no big deal. Not only was this the first time that I wasn’t nervous at all when talking to Ash, but it was the first time someone mentioned the flower shop and didn’t make me think of Zoey. How did Ash have this effect on me?

I cleared my throat. “So, what are you doing here?” I asked. “I thought you lived on campus.” “I do, but on Fridays I go work out and train at my uncle’s gym on the other side of town,” he explained. Great. Here come those fantasies again. “Oh, okay,” I said while trying to keep my head on straight. Then, a thought came to me. “Wait, training for what?” I immediately regretted asking it. Ash’s smile quickly disappeared and he turned his head away. Way to go, Emily. “You know what? Forget I asked. It’s none of my business,” I laughed nervously. He looked back at me. “You going back to the dorms, Emily?” he asked, changing the subject. I nodded. He gestured his head to the seat of his motorcycle. “Why don’t I give you a ride there?” “What?!” I practically shrieked. Was this actually happening? Ash’s expression changed. “Shit! Sorry, Emily. I’m not trying to come onto you or anything. I just want to make sure you get back safely.” Once my heart calmed down, I remembered something Carrie told me in high school: Every single bad boy has a soft side. Some just show it easier than others. That was the truth. Ash was as much of a “bad boy” as I had ever seen, and yet he was so protective and...nice.

Still, the thought of riding on a motorcycle made me panic. What if we got into a crash, or I fell off? Then, I remembered Ash was just looking out for me...just like when we met. Plus, I owe him for asking him about his training. “Sure,” I said. I gave a reassuring smile. His smile quickly returned. What a relief.

As I sat on the seat behind him, he handed me his helmet. “What about you?” I asked with a confused look on my face. Ash chuckled. “Don’t worry, Emily. I’ll be fine.” Of course he would be. God, how lame was I? I used my hair clips to tie my hair into a bun so it wouldn’t get in the way of the helmet. I had seen enough motorcycle rides to know what to do. I slid closer to Ash and locked my arms around his waist. I started to shake and whispered “I’m okay” to myself. “It’s okay, Emily. I’ll go slow. I promise,” Ash said in a calm, reassuring voice. While I was nervous about the motorcycle ride, I was even more nervous about being so close to Ash. I swear, I could feel his abs under his shirt and jacket as I held on to him. He smelled like smoke, sweat and...blood? It was intoxicating and scary all at the same time. As Ash revved up the engine I tried my best to calm down, both my nerves and my desire. I slowly opened my eyes and gasped. The night sky looked beautiful as it was dotted by hundreds of magnificent stars. Even though we weren’t driving fast the street lights still zoomed past us. It was so amazing. All the thoughts about business at the flower shop slowing down and not having closure for what happened to Zoey seemed to fade away. “You doin’ okay back there?” Ash asked. “Yes, thank you,” I calmly said.

Chapter 5: Ash

Since I met Emily, my emotions have gone from one extreme to the next: anger towards the dickhead who was putting moves on her, passion for making sure she was safe, peace for seeing that beautiful smile on her face, frustration that I could never be good enough for her, annoyance because that blond bastard David is a better boyfriend for her than I could ever be. Still, the feeling of her arms wrapped around me as we drove on my bike made me feel only one thing: happiness. I’ve felt little, if any, since my mom died. I needed to get my shit together! I was just making sure she was getting back to her dorm safely. I thought about when she asked me what I was training for. I groaned. This was why I wasn’t good enough for her. I was sure David didn’t train constantly to make money in underground fights while trying to ward off thoughts of his asshole father murdering his mother. I wanted to stay with Emily and stay away from her all at once. We arrived at the girls’ dorm. She took off her helmet and united her hair. I stared in awe as she shook her hair, letting it move across her face as the moonlight seemed to shine against her face. How could such a sweet, innocent girl be so fucking hot? She created a side ponytail using her hair clips. “Is everything okay?” She asked. I blinked. I didn’t realize I had been staring at her. “Yeah, yeah,” I rushed out, while trying to calm my nerves. She handed me her helmet. “That was amazing. Thank you,” she said while giving me that perfect smile that made my heart stop. “Sure, no problem,” I said while staring into her warm, chocolate-brown eyes. God, I wish I could kiss her. Damn it!

Suddenly, I heard a phone ring. Emily reached into the pocket of her sweater and answered her phone. “Hello? Oh, hi. Yeah, I’m fine. I just closed the shop. Wow! That sounds like fun!” She exclaimed. Then, she quickly glanced at me, then went back to her phone. Okay, that was weird. “Yes, I’m still here. I’ll be there soon. Okay, bye.” She put her phone back into her sweater pocket. “Who was that?” I asked, even though it was none of my business. “It was Carrie. She invited me to play video games with her at the arcade on the other side of campus.” “Is your boyfriend David coming?” FUCK! I’M SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT! To say she was confused would be a huge understatement. “Boyfriend? What are you...oh, my gosh!” she laughed. “I’m sorry, but David’s not my boyfriend. Carrie’s dating him. I've always seen him like a brother, that’s it. Plus, he’s working on a research paper right now.” I tried not to let out a sigh of relief. It doesn’t matter, idiot. You’re still not what she needs. “Um, Ash… I was wondering… do you...maybe…” “Want to come to the arcade with you and Carrie?” I finished her question. She nodded, looking embarrassed. I got up from my bike and put my hand on her shoulder. “Sure, Emily. It sounds like fun.” I smiled. It’s not that I didn’t really want to go. I mean, what loser doesn’t like video games? Still, this was the first time I would see Emily have fun instead of being scared or nervous. No way was I gonna miss that. Plus, David wasn’t her boyfriend. Things were finally going my way. Fucking idiot.

I drove my bike to the main building and parked. The arcade was in the basement. Emily walked the other way around the girls’ dorm and met me there. We played a lot of games with Carrie, from sports games to Rock Band. Unsurprisingly, I had the most fun with fighting games. I was surprised to see how good the girls were at them, especially Emily. She may be a sweetheart, but she could kick some serious ass in fighting games. Who knew? “Wow, Emily! You’re awesome!” Carrie cheered. “Where did you learn to play like that?” “David taught me to play when we were younger.” I didn’t cringe anymore when I heard David’s name since he was dating Carrie. Maybe there was a chance for me and Emily. You never learn, do you, asshole? Emily yawned. I checked my watch. “Shit,” I said. “Midnight already?” “Guess we should all go to bed now,” Carrie chuckled. “Come on, Emily.” “Actually, I think I want to stay with Ash,” she said before innocently looking at me. My pulse quickened. “You don’t mind, do you?” she asked. “No, of course not,” I said cooly, but inside I was jumping up and down like a little kid. Carrie narrowed her eyes and smirked. “Okay then. I’ll head back to the dorms. You lovebirds have fun,” she said mischievously. Lovebirds? What the hell was that about? She sauntered away like a runway model. Emily laughed, but I was more confused than amused. Why would Emily want to be alone with me?

I drove Emily back to the girls’ dorm. I realized that this sweet, innocent girl was almost as good at fighting games as me (and I was a fighter in real life) and had now been a motorcycle twice. Both cute and cool. And I thought I wanted her before. “Um, Ash?” she asked. “Yeah?” She looked away, wringing her hands together. “Come on, Emily. You can tell me anything,” I told her in a calm voice. She turned back to me and let out a deep breath. “I want you to teach me self-defense.” The world seemed to slow down for a minute. “Where is this coming from?” I asked while leaning my arms on the handlebars. She still looked uneasy. I didn’t like that. At all. I tried to lighten the mood. “Oh, I get it. You want to be a badass fighter in real life?” I joked, referring to how good she was at playing the fighting game. She laughed. That’s better. “Something like that,” she replied. She moved in closer to me. It excited me, even though it shouldn’t have. “Actually, while we were playing that game, I’ve been thinking about how I need to learn how to defend myself.” “Yeah, I get that,” I said. I remembered what I told Emily when I saved her: You know, you really should be more careful, Emily. There are a lot of bastards who could take advantage of a sweet, innocent girl like you. I thought I was being an asshole, but I guess it’s stayed with her ever since. “You got it,” I grinned. Then, she threw her arms around me and gave me a big hug. “Thank you so much!” She squealed. “I promise you won’t regret it!” Every time Emily was happy, I should be happy, too. Instead, my nerves were all over the place. I knew at some point she would discover the truth behind my training and be so terrified of me that she would neve want to see me again. What the fuck did I just get myself into?

Later that week, after Peter had closed his gym, I walked into his office. He had just finished taking inventory. “Hey, kid. You done training?” Yeah,” I said, my hands clenching into fists at my sides. I couldn’t remember the last time I was so nervous. “Hey Peter, there’s this girl I met at school. She asked me to teach her some self defense moves. Can she come to the gym tomorrow?” I asked, my heart racing. Peter crossed his arms and got a big grin on his face. “Well, well, well. Ash finally got himself a girlfriend,” he taunted. WHAT...THE...FUCK?! I couldn’t hide the shock on my face. “She is not my girlfriend!” I yelled. I really wish she could be. “I saved her from almost getting assaulted by some sick bastard!” I turned my head away. “I’m just teaching her to protect herself.” As if a sweet girl like Emily would ever want to be with a monster like me. Peter walked over to me and looked me straight in the eyes. “Ash, tell me the truth. This girl...is she the reason you lost it at your last fight?” I let out a frustrated breath. “Yeah. I’m no good for her. What if I think of my dad while we’re training and I end up hurting her?” Visions of my father happened at almost any time, but especially when I’m fighting. It didn’t matter if it was a full-on fight or just training. I can’t let Emily see that side of me. Peter shook his head.

“Listen, Ash. I know it’s hard to forget what he did, but you have to live your life. That’s what your mom would’ve wanted.” This was the most serious he had sounded in a long time. My breath hitched. Just the mention of my mom brought back those damn visions: her cold, dead body lying on the floor, blood everywhere, my father smiling, his gun covered in blood. Why was this world so cruel? Why is my mom dead while that bastard got away with it all? Where’s the fucking justice?! Where’s my mom… I leaned forward while clenching my chest, trying to breathe. “Ash? Ash!” Peter shouted. This was what I didn’t want Emily to see, but it’s too late now. I can’t cancel on her. All I can do is hope my demons won’t destroy me… or destroy her.

Chapter 6: Emily

“No way, Emily! That’s amazing!” Carrie yelled. I was surprised one of our dorm mates didn’t barge in and tell us to keep it down. “Shh! Not so loud! Besides, it’s not a big deal.” It was 11:00 A.M. Carrie and I were hanging out in her dorm room. I told Carrie about how Ash had agreed to teach me self-defense last night. I knew she would freak out, but she was making it bigger than it was. He was just helping me. That was it...right? ”So, I gotta know: What was it like riding on a motorcycle?” She asked with wide eyes. “It was really scary, but seeing all those lights pass by me in the night was unlike anything I had ever seen.” I obviously didn’t tell Carrie how amazing it felt to feel Ash’s hard, muscular body. I would never hear the end of it if I did. “Is he picking you up outside of the dorms tonight?” Carrie asked. “No, outside the flower shop at 8:00 P.M. When I’m done with inventory.” Carrie looked surprised. “Wait, he knows where the flower shop is?” “Yeah, that’s where he picked me up last night before we met you at the arcade.” She grinned and shook her head. “That guy has it bad for you, girl.” My face turned so red I probably looked like I was from another planet. “What? Why would you think that?” I asked nervously. I might feel the same way, but Carrie doesn’t need to know that. “Really, Emily? The guy saves you from an attack, takes you for rides on his motorcycle, plays video games with you, knows where you work and now wants to be your self-defense instructor? He wants you. It’s way more than just wanting to do the right thing.” This conversation was too much for me. “We need to get ready for Chemistry,” I said, then got up from her bed. Carrie said nothing. I was fortunate that she was letting me off the hook. What would a cool, edgy guy like Ash want with a shy, boring girl like me? He was just teaching me to protect myself. That’s it..right?

Later that day, Carrie and I met David at the food court. “So, did you girls have fun last night?” he asked. “Yeah, we did,” I said. “You had the most fun, Emily,” Carrie said with a wink. Oh, boy. Here we go. “What’s that supposed to mean?” David asked. I didn’t like keeping secrets from David. I already had when I didn’t tell him about how Ash saved me. I might as well let the cat out of the bag. “After I closed up the flower shop, Ash offered me a ride back to the dorm.” David’s eyes widened. “Wow! Really? Are you okay?” “Yeah. It was nice.” It was amazing. Ash was amazing. Ugh! “Then, Emily invited him to play video games with us,” Carrie added, clearly enjoying David’s surprised expressions. “Anything else?” David asked, looking slightly annoyed. What was that about? “Well, I asked him to teach me self-defense so what happened before won’t happen again,” I explained. David let out a frustrated breath. “Sounds like you’re spending a lot of time with him.” Wait, was David jealous of Ash? But why? He was with Carrie.

“Look, Emily. I know Ash saved you and everything, but I just have a bad feeling about him.” Carrie suddenly looked annoyed. “Let me guess, David. It’s because he swears, fights and drives a motorcycle. God, could you be more judgemental?” “I’m only looking out for Emily.” He glared at me. “I mean, do you even know who this guy really is? Where is he from? Does he have a job? What is his family like?” My heart started to beat like a hollow drum. I didn’t, but should I? Ash always gave off this vibe that I should stay away from him, regardless of all he’s done for me. I wanted to know why. I needed to know why. When I didn’t answer and just looked down at my feet, David groaned and abruptly stood up. “Whatever, Emily. Just because a guy like that saved you doesn’t mean he’s not dangerous himself.” He walked out of the building. “What the hell’s his problem?” Carrie grumbled. I was wondering the same thing, but also wondered if David was right. Did I know who Ash really was? I was about to find out.

Just as I had closed up the flower shop, Ash pulled up in front of me. When he took off his motorcycle, there was a different expression on his face than usual. He looked mad, or at least frustrated. This proves it. He doesn’t really like me. He’s just helping me out. I shook my head because those thoughts didn’t matter. “Hi,” I said. He looked up at me. His eyes looked warmer but he still wasn’t smiling. Something was wrong, but I didn’t ask. I didn’t want to upset him. “Where are we going?” “My uncle’s gym. It’s on the other side of town,” he explained. Without saying another word I sat beside him, tied up my hair and put the helmet on. This time, I couldn’t enjoy the pretty lights zooming by us. I was too on edge. I was already nervous about the training, and now Ash was acting like he didn’t want to do it anymore. Then, I remembered David’s warning: Just because a guy like that saved you doesn’t mean he’s not dangerous himself. Deep down I knew he was probably right, especially after Ash’s sudden change of mood tonight. Still, I wanted to know more about him. I let him into my life after he saved me. I just wanted him to let me into his life.

I expected the gym to be in an old, run-down building. I’m sure David would think that, too, given how he felt about Ash. It was actually a big, shiny, clean building, similar to the ones near the campus. We walked through the front door and turned left. Ash led me to a giant room with large teal-colored mats covering the floor and surrounded by mirrors. In the middle was one of those training dummies that fighters use. I wondered what it was doing here. “What’s up, you crazy kids!” I heard a voice shout. I jumped and quickly turned around. A tall man with spiky, reddish-brown hair stood in the doorway. He had a big grin on his face. Ash gritted his teeth. “What the fuck, Peter! You nearly scared her half to death!” he growled. I just smiled. I never stopped liking how protective Ash was of me. Even though I should. Seriously, Emily! “Sorry about that,” Peter chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Emily, this is my uncle Peter.” Peter stuck out his hand. “Hey there, Emily. Nice to meet ya,” Peter grinned. I was surprised at how friendly Peter was. “Same here.” I smiled back. Peter reached into his pocket. “Here are my keys, Ash. Don’t forget to lock up the gym before you leave.” “Yeah, sure,” Ash muttered.

He still seemed so distant tonight. I really, really needed to know why. Peter waved at me and exited the room. Ash looked at me. “Wait here, Emily. I’m gonna go change and then we can get started.” I nodded and he walked into a locker room. My nerves shot up. What was he going to change into? This was going to be so awkward. Keep it together, Emily. You don’t even like Ash that way...right? “Uh, Emily, are you ready?” I heard Ash ask, clearly annoyed. “Oh, sorry. Yes, I’m…” My mind went blank when I looked up and saw what Ash was wearing. He was shirtless and wore red shorts and wraps around his hands and feet. I tried to keep my eyes on his, but they eventually wandered downward. I stared at his chest, then went down to his ripped stomach and the six pack that separated his muscles. My skin crawled. I’m sure a lot of girls, like Carrie, would consider this a dream come true. Intead, I felt like I wanted to die from embarrassment. I wasn’t like Carrie; I never looked at guys this way. Of course, Ash wasn’t just any guy. I took a seat on the floor as Ash walked towards the training dummy.

“Our training today will have two parts. Part 1 will be solely offense while Part 2 will be defense and countering with offense,” Ash explained, that stern and serious look still on his face. I tried to not worry about it. Whatever was bothering him was none of my business. I needed to focus on the training. After taking a deep breath, Ash began kicking, punching and striking the dummy fiercely. I was completely captivated by him. Not only by his strength, skills and technique, but also by the way his muscles flexed under his tight body. Oh man, here I go again. Focus, Emily! Suddenly, I noticed something was wrong. Ash was hitting the dummy extremely hard and aggressive now. His jaw tightened and his teeth clenched. “Um, Ash?” I tried asking, but he didn’t hear me. He just kept on with his onslaught. It was almost like he was possessed. I stood up and carefully walked towards him. I let out a scared gasp when Ash knocked the dummy to the floor and began pummeling it relentlessly. Oh, my God! What was happening?! I walked behind him and put my hands on his shoulder. “Ash, calm down! Please!” He kept hitting the dummy so hard that stuffing was coming out of its stitches. “Ash, it’s me, Emily! Please stop!” I yelled, my eyes watering. Was David right? Was Ash really dangerous? Was I wrong about him this whole time?

Suddenly, Ash stopped moving. He turned around and stared at me. “Emily…” he wheezed. His chest was rising and falling, like he was trying to get air back into his lungs. Before I realized what I was doing, I put my hands on both sides of his face. “Yes, Ash. It’s me. You’re okay,” I said with a gentle smile. Ash swiftly put his arms around me, pulling me into a deep hug. I felt like my heart was going to explode. “Fuck, Emily. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want you to see this side of me.” His voice was shaking. What just happened? Ash wasn’t even this vicious when he saved me. What triggered his rampage? I slowly pulled away from his hold. “Ash, are you okay?” I asked, my voice quivering. Ash blinked several times. “Emily, I should be asking you that.” Why wouldn’t I be? He wasn’t making sense. I put my hand on his chest. His heart finally seemed to calm. “Ash, please...tell me what’s wrong,” I whispered. He hadn’t been himself since he picked me up and now this happened. Ash held my wrist and moved my hand from his chest. I looked up and saw he had a blank look in his eyes. They didn’t seem angry but they didn’t seem peaceful, either. They looked...empty. I feared that’s what he felt inside.

He let go of my wrist and stood up. “Listen, Emily. I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life. As much as I know you want to help me, and as much as I want to let you in, it won’t change anything. You can’t change the past.” A lump caught in my throat. I knew that all too well. Zoey. “Ash, I’m not scared of you. I know you would never hurt me,” I protested. Ash looked at the busted up dummy on the floor, then back at me. “Seriously, Emily? You see what I’m capable of.” He shook his head. “Come back to the gym next week. We can continue with Part 2.” I could practically see the walls close in around him. He was like a wounded animal; beautiful and powerful, yet dangerous and out of control. “Okay,” I whispered as I looked down at the floor. Ash let out a heavy sigh. Then, he held out his hand to help me up. “Emily, I’m not saying we still can’t be friends at school. But you can’t get too close to me.” Before I could ask why, he lifted his hand and touched my face. “The last thing I wanna do is hurt you,” he whispered. My heart and head were conflicted. My head was telling me he was right, but my heart wanted more; more of his touch, more of his tenderness. As he let his arm fall and went to the locker room to change, I knew that I would never have that. He might think he’s not good enough for me, but I know I’m not good enough for him.

Chapter 7: Ash

Shit, shit, shit! I knew this would happen. My rage turned me into a monster in front of Emily. No matter how hard I try to forget what my dad did, I’ll never truly find peace until he’s dead or at least arrested. Now I’ve let Emily see that. What will she think of me now? Neither of us said a word as I drove her back to the girls’ dorms. I wouldn’t blame her if she just wanted to get the training over with and never talk to me again. I deserved it for terrifying her like that. Later that week, I received a text from Peter: “Meet me at the house. We need to talk. NOW.” Peter was almost never this serious. I had a pretty good idea what he wanted to talk about: me fucking up that dummy after losing my shit and scaring the hell out of Emily. Again, I don’t like talking about my past. It doesn’t change anything. I even told Emily that. Still, I don’t know where I would be without Peter, so I owe him. I huffed and drove to the house. After parking in his garage, I knocked on the front door. Peter opened it. “Hey, Ash,” he sighed. “Come on in.” I expected Peter to be pissed. Instead, he looked solemn and sad. What the hell? We sat on a black leather couch in the living room.

“Ash, that girl from the other day. She means something to you, doesn't she?” WHAT THE FUCK?! I jumped out of my seat. “What the fuck do you know about Emily?!” I shouted. Peter shook his head. “I could tell from the dummy that you thought about your dad again and you scared that girl.” I tried my best to control the rage building inside of me. “Of course I fucking scared her,” I growled. “This is why I don’t like to be close to anyone.” Peter put his hand on my shoulder. “You know, I don’t think that’s true. If it was, you wouldn’t have agreed to her offer, brought her to the gym and introduced her to me.” My heart was beating frantically, like it had just snorted up a line of coke. “You still didn’t answer my question,” Peter continued. I was stuck. If I ran away from the conversation, I would be nothing but a scared, little pussy to the only person who’s ever cared about me. If I kept talking about Emily, I would remember what a scared, little pussy I was for not telling her about my past. Ah, screw it. If I really did lose Emily, I would still have Peter.

“After I saved her, all I’ve wanted is to keep her safe. She was so scared. Since then, I’ve seen her happier. Every time she smiles it’s like she turns into a goddamn angel. Whenever I’m around her, I feel happy for the first time since...since…” I struggled. My head started to pound and my throat closed up. “Since you lost your mom,” Peter finished. I nodded. “Wait here,” he said before going into his bedroom. He came back with a box of cigarettes and a lighter. “You know I don’t like it when you smoke, but it seems you really need one.” “Thanks,” I said before lighting a cigarette and inhaling. I let out a breath and saw smoke from over my head. Some of the pain I felt earlier seemed to fade away in the smoke. Peter took a smoke, too. Then, he said: “Ash, this is gonna piss you off, but I’m gonna say it anyway.” I shut my eyes. I was already on edge and now I was smoking. Was he trying to give me a heart attack? “Out with it,” I grumbled. “I think you should tell her about your dad.” That’s what I knew he would say. “If anything, you can apologize to her.” Not gonna lie, that may have been exactly what I needed to hear. I slowly turned to him. “Okay,” I whispered.

On Thursday night, I knocked on the door of Emily’s flower shop. “Yes?” Emily asked as she opened the door. When she saw me standing there, Chills ran down my body. Crap, she’s still scared of me. I looked over her shoulder and saw the inside of the flower shop for the first time. It was beautiful and perfect. Just like her. “Hi, Emily,” I said, trying not to be suffocated by my nerves. “H-Hi, Ash. what are you doing here?” She asked, her hands shaking. I walked over to her and put my hands on her shoulders. I looked her straight in the eyes. “Emily, I’m so sorry for what happened. I was scared to tell you about my past because it would’ve opened up old wounds, but seeing you terrified like that…” My throat closed up and my voice came out broken. “It fucking broke my heart.” Her eyes widened. “Ash, please talk to me. Whatever it is, I can take it.” God, I hope that’s true.. I gestured over to a bench next to the flower shop. We sat down as we held hands. I was so overcome with fear over sharing my past that I didn’t notice the warm feeling I got from her hand touching mine. I let out a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

“Growing up, my dad was abusive to my mom. One day, when I was 11 years old, he tackled her to the floor. I was scared shitless. I called 911. Just as the operator told me the police were on their way, I heard a loud bang. I went into my parents’ bedroom and saw...I saw my…” I put my hands on my knees and lowered my head. No, no, no. I couldn’t do this. Thankfully, Emily said it for me. “He shot her?!” She screamed. “Yeah,” I choked out, my eyes welling up with tears. “The worst part was he ran away before the cops arrived. They gave up on the case years ago. Then, my uncle Peter took me in and trained me to become an MMA fighter because I was getting into fights constantly in school. I compete in underground fights once a week to pay for tuition.” It was getting harder and harder to fight back the tears. “I lost my shit during training because no matter how many fights I’m in, I can never completely let go of my anger for what my father did.”

Even though I was close to coming apart, Emily was the one who burst out crying. Oh, shit! I turned around and held her as tightly as I could. She was sobbing because of what MY dad had done to MY mom. This girl was a fucking angel. “Emily, why the hell are you crying?!” I shouted, trying not to cry myself. “Because life isn’t fair! Your mom didn’t deserve that!” She was struggling to breathe. “Just like my sister didn’t deserve what happened to her!” “What do you mean?” I asked. Emily didn’t answer and kept her eyes shut. “Emily, look at me,” I whispered. Her slowly opened her beautiful brown eyes, which were full of tears. I wiped them away with my thumb. “I told you about my past and you didn’t run away. Please, tell me about your sister. I can handle it.” Emily sniffled. “Three years ago, when I was in high school and my sister Zoey was in college, some guy invited her to a party. He wanted to have sex with her, but she refused. After that, he took her into an alley...pinned her to the ground...and he...he…” Emily swallowed. “He raped her!” she cried. Shit! I held Emily as tight as I could. My heart was breaking for her. “Oh my God, Emily. I’m so, so sorry,” I whispered. Emily shook her head. “There’s more. My family reported it to the police. They searched everywhere for him but he had disappeared. Just like your mom, they gave up on Zoey’s case by the time I graduated high school. After that, Zoey went into a dark depression. One day, I walked into the bathroom and saw her… saw her…” Emily swallowed again. “She laid on the floor, a knife in her hand, blood everywhere…” Emily started sobbing loudly and uncontrollably. FUCK! Zoey had committed suicide! Emily was right. Life wasn’t fair. Where was the fucking justice?! Where was my mom...Emily’s sister, Zoey... I knew I would regret what I was about to do, but I did it anyway. I grabbed the back of her neck and pressed her lips to mine. She let out a shocked, muffled sound. I knew I was probably scaring her all over again. But in that moment, we both needed something good, something right. She needed me… and I needed her.

Chapter 8: Emily

I couldn’t believe what was happening. One minute Ash was telling me about how his evil father killed his mother and I was telling him about how Zoey was raped and then killed herself. The next, he was kissing me. My emotions were going haywire. I didn’t know whether I wanted to push him away or pull him closer. “I’m sorry, Emily. I just had to do that,” he said when he finally separated our lips. “It’s okay,” I whispered. A smile slowly spread across his lips. “Do you think you could reopen the flower shop? I wanna buy something.” I blinked. “W-What?” I stammered. Where the heck did that come from? Ash, you are such a mystery. Despite my shock, I obliged. I unlocked the front door and Ash walked inside. It was the first time he had entered the flower shop. My heart jumped. He went over to a single rose in a crystal vase. “I think I’ll take this,” he smiled. I smiled too, even though I was trying not to start crying again. I thought he would put the rose on his mom’s grave or something. “Okay. That will be five dollars.” He took out his black leather wallet and handed me a $5 bill. “Thank you very much,” I beamed. Suddenly, he took the rose out of the vase and tucked it behind my ear. Oh, my God. He bought the rose for...me? “What are you doing?” I asked, clearly flabbergasted. “It just seemed to suit you,” he grinned, more like a little kid than the cool, tough bad boy I’d come to know. Then, he leaned closer to me and whispered in my ear: “I think you’re as pretty as a rose.” My face burned up instantly and my heart skipped a beat. No one had ever said anything like that to me before. When I looked into his eyes, they weren’t full of dread and sorrow like earlier; there was peace and comfort in them. It made me so happy.

That night, Ash drove me back to the dorms. I was getting used to riding on a motorcycle with the hottest guy I had ever seen. I wasn’t sure how I was going to tell Carrie about everything that happened tonight. I might give her a heart attack. I didn’t hear much from Carrie or David the following week. Carrie was spending a lot of time at the police station with her parents as they went over those two cases that may have some new leads. I tried not to get my hopes up that one of them was Zoey’s case. I also tried not to focus on Ash’s mother’s murder. After he opened up to me, and then kissed me I decided to only focus on the here and now. David had a few classes almost every day and was seeing his academic advisor a few times a week to discuss what his major could be. The following Friday, I ate breakfast with Carrie at the food court.

“Girl, you gotta tell me what you and Ash did last week,” she said, her eyes practically twinkling. “What do you mean?” I was a terrible liar. “Oh please, Emily.” She looked at the rose Ash gave me, still tucked behind my ear, and smirked. “Something’s going on more than the self defense training.” I sighed then grinned. I guess telling the truth was easier than lying...terribly. “We kissed,” I simply said. Carrie covered her mouth “If you’re going to explode, can you at least go into the bathroom?” Carrie followed me into the bathroom. Thank God no one else was in there. She removed her hands from her mouth, and…”OH MY GOD, EMILY!!!” Classic Carrie. I laughed. “So, what led up to this?” My smile faded. I obviously couldn’t tell Carrie about Ash’s past. “We just started talking about stuff and one thing led to another and…” “Yeah, I got it.” She grinned like Cheshire Cat.

Once we walked out of the bathroom, I gasped. Ash was walking right in front us with earbuds in his ears. Before I could react, Carrie snuck behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and smirked. “‘Sup, girls?” I hadn’t seen Ash this cocky in a while. If it was exciting me, I could only imagine how Carrie felt. “Oh, not much. Just having a little girl talk.” She winked. Ash turned to me. “I guess you told Carrie, huh?” I expected him to be mad that I told Carrie about our kiss. At least he didn’t think I told her about his past. I would never do that. Instead, he seemed amused. “Yeah,” I blushed. “Told Carrie what?” I heard David ask behind me. Where did he come from? “Emily and Ash had a...special moment together last night,” Carrie slyly said. David glared at Ash. Oh, no. This could be bad.

“What are you looking at, blondie?” Ash sneered. I quickly stepped in between them. “Ash, wait!” I turned to David. “Ash and I...well...we kissed.” David gritted his teeth. “Are you kidding me, Emily?! I warned you about him!” he yelled. Ash took a step forward so loud and strong, I thought the floor was going to break. He grabbed David by his shirt collar. “What the fuck do you know about me, asshole! Why should you need to warn Emily about me?!” Ash snarled. David was going to end up in the hospital if I didn't stop this. “Ash, please! Don’t! Just because David is wrong about you doesn’t mean he’s a bad person!” Ash briefly turned his gaze to me, then back at David. “Shit!” he hissed before throwing David to the floor. “I know you’re with Carri

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