Blood - Part One

"Yes, mother, there is a lot of blood. We need to get it cleared up before Kaitlyn gets home from school. You don't want her to walk into this, do you? No, that's what I thought.

Mother, please, it’s no good standing there crying. It’s done now. What do you mean I shouldn’t have done it? Mum, he was a bastard to you, a drunk and a bully who used you like his personal punch bag. How many more times did you expect me to just stand aside and watch my mother having the shit beaten out of her?

Okay, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t swear. I apologise, but surely you can understand why it makes me swear?

My father? My father? He was no more a father to me or Kaitlyn than Bob next door is! Sure, he might have been responsible for planting the seed but that’s about as far as his responsibility as a parent went.

Oh, come on! How do you expect me to be respectful towards him when I have had to watch him beating you? Even poor Kaitlyn has seen what a charmer her dad is, and she’s only a kid.

Mum, I’m nearly seventeen, so hardly a kid anymore. Kaitlyn’s only thirteen. She shouldn’t have to see what that bastard made her see!

No, I won’t apologise for calling him that name, because that’s all he was to me. I cannot for the life of me understand why you’re still defending him after all he’s done to this family and to you in particular. Come; let’s get on with clearing-up this mess. My kid sister will be home in a couple of…

WHAT?!

Please tell me you’re joking. You are, aren’t you?

You loved him?! You actually loved him even after all of the beatings, the bruises, the mental abuse and all the rest of it. Jesus, mum, are you mad?

Okay, okay, okay, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. No, I know you’re not mad. Even so, I still can’t believe that you can stand there and tell me that you still loved him. To be honest, mum, that’s a little bit, you know, scary. Creepy even.

I know you did, and, boy, didn’t he make sure you understood ‘for better, for worse’ much better than was intended. As far as I’m concerned it was “for worse and even worse” most of the time.

Please, mum, I don’t want to argue with you and I’m really not trying to upset you, but we have to get this mess cleared up. We’re just wasting time talking about him. Let’s get this sorted out then we can talk about it later, yes?

What else was I supposed to do, mum? It’s no good telling me I shouldn’t have done it. I know that, but I did it and now he’s dead. I can’t undo it, not that I would even if I could. We will be better off without him, just you wait and see.

No, I won’t apologise for that. I’m really sorry if I’m upsetting you mum, but do you know how many times I’ve cried myself to sleep with the sound of your cries in my ears; how many times I have had to comfort Kaitlyn while daddy dearest shouted his head off at you? Do you have any idea what it’s been like growing up in this house?

See, now I have upset you. I knew you’d start to cry eventually. Can we please end this conversation and leave it ‘til later? I really want to get this mess cleared up now.

What? The knife? Yes, it is sharp; very sharp. Put it in the sink and we can think of what to do with it later.

Okay, if it makes you feel better, I’ll tell you I’m sorry for what I did even though you know I don’t mean it, mum. There, is that what you wanted to hear?

What are you doing with that knife? Put it down.

Mum, now you’re starting to scare me. Please, don’t come any closer. I know he was your husband. I know killing him is wrong. But I also know that one day, sooner or later, he would have seriously hurt you or, even worse, hurt me or Kaitlin. I couldn’t just stand by and let him do that to us.

Mum, put the knife down before you hurt one of us!

Of course I’m fucking frightened. Jesus, mum, what the hell are you…

Oof!

Mum? Mum? What have you done? Mum… I’m hurt… I’m bleeding… MUM! Help me! Oh, God, what have you done to me? Please, help me, help me… There’s so much blood, mummy, so much blood…”

ooOoo

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