Book 1: Ramsey Doogetwadset
By Savage3footer - 5 Reviews
Once upon a time at a secret spot not many people knew about, there was a kid named Ramsey Doogetwadset. Now, Ramsey was a very peculiar individual who spent most of his time outdoors or at his job. Ramsey always loved fishing with his best friend Bob. Bob was as normal as you could imagine. Normal life, normal house, parents still together, and everything. Bob spent most of his time with his family or Ramsey. He did not have a job like Ramsey, his parent was pretty well off. Both of Bob’s parents worked and he was 16 just like Ramsey so he knew how to take care of himself. Now, Ramsey, on the other hand, was wacko, a real crazy fellow who always had to do something crazy.
Bob speaks of a time where he went to visit Ramsey at his job. He was on break trying to shove a whole box of fries up his nose. Ramsey had 31 fries up his nose and was going for the last one. As the fry was going in he sneezed and all 32 fries were all over Bob. Bob had snot and fries all over him. People started laughing but Bob did not think it was funny at all. Bob and Ramsay got up and left The Greasy Fry. But Ramsey’s boss was mad because it was during Ramsey’s shift and he's not allowed to leave. Right as Ramsey dropped Bob off at his house he remembered he needs to go back to work. So, Ramsley races back to work dodging so much traffic he almost died 7 times.
As Ramsley pulled into work he saw his boss and accidentally ran him over. Now, back to the real story. So, one day as Ramsey and Bob were fishing, Ramsey had a huge tug on his line so he yanked it and it came flying out of the water because of how hard he yanked. The thing started flying and Ramsey let go of his pole and just like that, the thing and his pole where gone. Bob and Ramsey did not know what Ramsey yanked out of the water but they do know a couple of things. It was big, it can fly, it took Ramsey’s pole, and Ramsey is pretty strong. After that, Bob and Ramsey walked to Ramsey’s house because it was the weekend and Bob was staying the night. Once they got to Ramsey’s house they weren't hungry so they went to Ramsey’s room. Ramsey led Bob to his room where they took off their shoes and sat down.
Bob said, “We should find a name for that thing don’t you think”. Ramsey thought for a minute and said, “yeah I think we should”. So, Bob and Ramsey started thinking of a scary name. Ramsey shouted out how about Lightbulb! Bob thought about the name Lightbulb for a minute and he said, “No, how about Azog Dirthead?” Ramsey shouted, “Yeah, that's a great name!” So there was the name of the beast that stole Ramsey’s fishing pole, Azog dirthead. Then Ramsey and Bob started playing legos and Bob was tired. Ramsey wouldn't admit that he was tired. So right there they fell, asleep Bob on the floor and Ramsey with his head in a bucket of legos.
The next morning, Bob woke and he headed downstairs because he smelled something delicious. He did not wake Ramsey because trust me, he needs his sleep. As Bob headed down the stairs, he saw a giant shadow and he was wondering what it was. Bob grabbed a lego sword and a nerf pistol off Ramsey’s couch. As he crept into the kitchen he saw a large creature. Bob froze for a minute then said, “Turn around now!” As the thing turned around, it was the ugliest but coolest thing bob had ever seen. Big red beady eyes, a giant mouth, horns, and a large very slimy body. There was slime all over the kitchen. The beast roared and Ramsey woke up and ran down the stairs with the bucket still on his head. As Ramsey ran into the kitchen, he saw the beast and peed his pants. There they all stood Bob, Ramsey, and the giant beast. Bob noticed that this beast has wings and he said, “Maybe it's Azog Dirthead.” Ramsey screamed at the top of his lungs, “IT’S AZOG DIRTHEAD.” Bob said, “Don’t be a chicken, we have to defend this castle.” Now Bob and Ramsey were always nerds and playing weird games. So Bob said, “Ok this thing is going down.” Bob held up his lego sword and ran at it! Bob hit the beast with his lego sword and it smashed to pieces. Bob had one last weapon, his nerf gun. He had 4 bullets, 1 in each barrel and no extras. He shot all four one after another until he was empty. Bob yelled, “Oh no, it didn't damage it at all and we have so weapons left!” Ramey yelled, “Or do we?” Bob said, “Yeah, actually we don't have any weapons.” Ramsey ran at the beast and rammed him with the bucket that was on his head. The beast roared and Bob ran up to Ramsey's bedroom. Ramsey said, “I thought you said don’t be a chicken.” Bob said, “I'm not a chicken I'm getting more weapons.” So there Ramsey and Azog Dirthead stood staring at each other. Bob came down stumbling over dropped weapons. Ramsey went over and grabbed the paintball gun and started shooting the beast. He ran out of paintballs and said well at least he is pretty. Bob and Ramsey roared with laughter. Azog Dirthead spit slime at Bob and Ramsey. Bob and Ramsey both grabbed a potato gun and fired them at Azog.
The beast roared louder than it ever has. Azog spits one last slimeball before flying away. Ramsey’s mom came into the kitchen to make some coffee and shrieked, “What happened in here!” So Ramsey told his mom everything that happened. Ramsey’s mom started laughing and said, “That is the best story I've ever heard from you two!” You guys are always making me laugh with your funny stories. Bob and Ramsey said where yelling we are telling the truth it’s not a story. Ramsey’s mom just laughed and walked away.
Ramsey’s mom did not believe them even though they were telling the truth. Ramsey said, “I guess this is war, we will chase it down.” So they went to Ramsey’s room and grabbed 2 army duffel bags. Bob loaded him with nerf guns and lego weapons. Ramsey filled his with paintball guns nerf snipers a whole lot of ammunition. They ran downstairs and grabbed some canned food and bread. They ran for the door and were out of the town in 5 minutes. There was a slime trail that they had followed to a cave.
They crept into the cave both armed with lego sword and shields that have been glued together. Now they have a chance to defeat this monster. They see the giant monster and he is asleep. So they opened fire bullet after bullet, gun after gun till everything was gone but the bag and cans of food. The monster has woken up and is now charging at them. They both grab cans of food and throw it at him. Ramsay yells it’s making a hole throw it at his stomach. Ramsey and bob have now run out of cans. NOOOOOOO Ramsay yells we were so close. Wait I have an idea. Ramsey runs at Azog and rams him with the bucket that was on his head from when he fell asleep. The beast falls over and bob and Ramsey ran over to it. Ramsay yells, “AZOG DIRTHEAD IS NO LONGER ALIVE!” Bob and Ramsey cheer loudly. They scream, “Hooray we did it.” They walked home, but as they were walking away the beast shot out sparks of electricity from its body. The End OR IS IT?????
Author Notes: Made by Savage3footer!
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