. "Are you straight?" I've always been a horrible liar, seriously, though, I'm bad at lying. I have an instinct to tell the truth I guess, and without realizing it, I said no. I could've just said yes, but the voices in my head begged to be listened to. They refused to be silenced by me anymore.
Huh... I guess I got tired of my own bullcrap. My mind drifted off to my friend, beautiful friend, beautiful same sex friend who I fell in love with. I was blown away by them, blown away on a whole other level, a level that no straight person could even think about reaching. I was gay. Not even a bit attracted to the other gender because screw that honestly.
They were amazing, great personality even though they personally don't believe it. I try not to love them, but it's no use, I've learned not to fight myself over it. Also another thing- " Bi?" My genius response to this genius question that just happened to knock me out of my rant was : no.. my head starts spinning. I'm stuck now.
"So gay?" ..... " No, well I don't know, I'm still figuring it out." I'm officially an idiot. "You don't know?" They sent them in here to spend time with me but I wish I was alone.
I would've been fine alone, but noooooooo. Fate decided to screw me over, either fate or my cousin sending her kids in here to spend time with me. "Sending," what I mean by that if forcing them to come "spend time with me," even though they just made me miserable. My mind drifts back to my friend, one of only two people who knew I was gay. The one who I wanted to know that I was gay.
I came out to the person I had a crush on... yeah okay I never claimed to be smart. They made me so happy though, and the reason I love them so much is because I can trust them so one night of sleep deprived texting later and boom, they know, Somebody knows, I still get shivers when I reread that conversation. The second after I said it I felt sick. They were supportive though. I get knocked out of my happy flashback and realize it'll seem suspicious if I don't answer, so I say, " Yeah I'm still figuring it out." Welp, guess who just accidentally sort of slipped up and did something so stupid I kind of want to punch myself..
Author Notes: Okay, boom. We did another one. Not very good but I do have another idea for this if people do care. Bye!