The words I need to say to you
Are not those you want to hear.
They may be the cause of some upset
To you I’m afraid, my dear.
You see I’m not the person
You thought was, I confess
And now that the truth is out
You’re going to be in some distress.
I have lived a lie these many years
It’s been a burden and a curse.
Instead of getting better with time
It has only grown worse and worse.
I cannot deny what I feel anymore:
I cannot live this life of pretence.
I wish I could say something meaningful
That would make any difference.
The truth, though, is unavoidable
And as painful as it may be
It’s time to tell you the absolute truth
About the secret, hidden me.
You see before you a successful man
Your partner in love, no less
You think I love you unreservedly
And that you bring me happiness.
That is true, to a certain extent
My dear, beloved wife.
What you don’t know, have never suspected,
Is my secret other life.
The life where I am the woman
That resides in my DNA
The woman that only emerges
Whenever you are away.
I try on some of your clothing:
Your underwear, skirts and shoes.
I experiment with your cosmetics as well
Though I’m careful with how much I use.
I like to parade down the High Street
Dressed as my alter-ego, Claire.
I like it when passers-by look at me
And I love it when other men stare.
I feel so alive, so sexy
Dressed so provocatively
Now this is the way I want to live:
This is how I was meant to be.
I’m sorry to drop this on you
You deserve better, that’s for sure
But I just cannot go on living
This uncomfortable lie anymore.
I am going to have the operation
That will free the woman in me
Like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis
You will see the real me break free.
Author Notes: This poem is NOT autobiographical :-)