In January 1981, hubby switched jobs to work for a national company which required travel. His national employment protected us from the regional Pacif Northwest economic downturn impacting neighbors. There was no swing shift work available for me to help. When he traveled, I was left alone with kids.
Memories of Edward and even Enrico flashed unexpectedly before me during his absences. The words, I'm bored, bored, bored echoed as I stared out the window at the drizzle.
A wantonness fever took hold. As the good wife vow effaced, I confessed to Erica my yearnings, the wrong one to tell. She urged me on, to get out of the rain as she explained it.
With "A. T." faltering she asked me to accompany her dancing at a country western bar when her husband went out of town. I agreed but just for dancing and if hubby was on a business trip too. It wasn’t until early summer they were both out of town. Spring, the wettest season, had drained the last of my resolve to be faithfulof. With summer’s clear sky, the sun visible again, I was ready for a night out.
Erica and I went shopping. Hot pants were in and she bought a pair a slinky see through blouse. I purchased a flair skirt for dance twirling, peasant blouse and 3-inch pumps with gold bow.
Shopping confirmed I was going out. The clothes revealed my fever’s temperature, I was in danger of heat stroke. I murmured as I got ready.
I’m only dancing, I’m only dancing.
I painted my nails bright red and put on deep red lipstick, put on large gold hoop earrings from belly dancing days and Enrico's trophy ring but kept my wedding ring on.
She drove and picked me up. My first error of judgement for the evening was letting her drive. My last sound judgement decision was checking with the baby sitter on my list of do’s and don’ts.
When we entered the country western bar it was packed with pseudo cowboys and cow girls. Not bring enthused with country western music, dancing to fast songs would be the limit of my lust. As soon as we sat, cowboys showed up at our table insisting on buying drinks. I ordered gin and tonic and Erica beer.
After two drinks and rejecting those trying to rustle me on to the dance floor I agreed to a fast dance request with Alabama playing. I then sat out the slow ones until, It’s Like We Never Said Goodbye by Crystal Gayle. He was good looking and met other requirements, no cowboy hat, no big silver belt buckle, no cowboy boots and by smell he didn’t smoke.
On the dance floor, I was shocked to see another married woman I knew. She was dancing sans husband. Seeing me she came over and told me she never expected to see me there. I didn’t like my image questioned and wanted to leave but Erica had someone at the table she was sweet talking. Seeing the other married woman oddly legitimized my night out. Everyone was obviously doing it.
After our dance, my partner bought another round, my third. After a couple of slow dances with him Erica took me to the ladies’ room and opened her purse.
“Honey, take these, better safe than sorry.”
She handed me a little box of condoms.
“You’re joking. I don’t need them.”
I put them in my purse as she went back to our table.
After more dancing and another drinks, Erica announced we were going to get coffee. I was relieved, the smoke was getting to me. As we left, I kept my hands on my elbows so my new acquaintance wouldn’t try to hold my hand.
We all clambered in Erica’s car, her newest conquest in front next to her. My new friend at least had manners. He opened the door for me but slid next to me once I was in. I moved a little closer to the door. He put his arm around me and tried to kiss but I turned, opened the window and looked out. Instead of driving for coffee Erica drove to a secluded spot she knew and parked without answering my question of where the coffee was. She turned around, looked back over the seat, smiled and said.
"Don't do anything nasty."
She wasted no time doing so.
I let my new friend kiss me while listening to crickets chirping from the open window. He started slow as if it was just kisses. With drinks, my resistance was down. Erica up front, aroused me. I let him kiss me as a delaying action while he thought he was warming me up. I closed my eyes and thought of Gary and his Alviso kiss. I was warming up.
He opened his car door and pulled me down. His grip was firm.
I looked up at the car ceiling. High school lover's lane nights with my fiancé flashed in my mind. Suddenly I knew this would end differently.
I looked up and saw Erica smiling down over the front seat. She looked like the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland.
I was unfaithful again.
Erica started the car and drove back to the bar to drop them off. They talked about their jobs and sports on the way no longer interested in us. I heard mine was a plumber which explained his strong grip. I gave him a phony phone number and last name as I bid him goodbye. All I remember of him is he was good looking, the smell of his after shave, his hair color and his being a plumber. I don't even remember his name.
As Erica drove me home, I knew she had in effect seduced me. I wanted to forget the evening. As soon as the kids were checked up on, the baby sitter paid and gone I put the clothes in the trash and showered.
When hubby returned from his business trip I knew it best to tell him I went out with Erica to a cowboy bar having been recognized there and a rumor could start. It’s best to cover a potential exposure before it reaches the front door. I told him which bar, the name of the woman I saw, that cowboys tried to rustle me, I danced but I didn’t like the cowboy bar scene, all true, to hide a lie of omission in a haystack of truth.
Erica ignored my plea to say nothing to those in the Affairs Circle. She changed my nickname from "A. T." to "Now! Now"! I rued the evening and vowed not to repeat it.
With Erica's blabbing to the “affairs Circle” I distanced myself from them. A bar romp wasn’t what I wanted.
My vow with God broken, I was free to sin in the rain. Hubby’s "swinging" was limited to his pornographic videos, Beta no less. I wanted better, better. I wanted a trophy lover. To do so, I’d be discreet. The kids noticed everything.
Author Notes: Having cheated at a cowboy bar the wife vows to do it her way.