Conflicted thoughts

Ever had that thought where you feel envious of your own friend? I'm happy for her but I can't help feel a little bad because her life is going great.
Mine is too to an extend. Today I realized I don't like him anymore. Someone I thought I loved is no more. My best friend we are so close that she let me see her messages with the guy. He is so sweet, charming and caring to her. Again, so very happy but I wish I had that guy of my own.
It's ok though. Life isn't perfect? I just fear how I'll conceal that upset-ness in front of her. I fear the moment I lay my eyes on her these feeling of emptiness will come back in a rush. I won't be able to handle it. I'm not that strong.

Oh well, life goes on. Staying strong. I am content with my life though. There's more than one love we always wish for. Parental love, friend love and most of all soul-mate love which is the only love I've yet to have.

Adios.

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