My alarm hits 6 am and with it’s sharp piercing trin trin, I wake up to turn it off. I sit up on my bed and turn to my phone. It stares back at me silently from over my one of textbook. She is never going to ring me again. I’m never going to wake up to her voice. And that realisation makes my eyes go blurr. Rubbing them, with my half heart, I manage to touch the floor. Aimlessly I make tired efforts to get my business in order for the day waiting ahead.
Hours and hours later, i check my watch and it had already struck one in the afternoon. The sun wasn’t shining with it’s full force. The sky was over turned with grey clouds and a fresh shower was in anticipation. I turn to my phone again, and it looked fast asleep. I didn’t have her to check on me.
Somehow, I make it to four in the afternoon with a dull ache in my core. I assemble with others for another day of evening class and in the midst of voices, the pain climbs out of me and sits over my head. I try and make polite conversations. Laugh and giggle. But my heart is filled with turmoil of it’s own. Every now and then, I find myself with tears on the brim. It takes every ounce of strength in me to keep it held tightly inside and i wait patiently for the clock to struck quarter past seven so that I can return back to the sanctuary of my silence and let my tears go free.
To live in a world without her, is like there’s no tomorrow and I’ve been drowning since she held my hand last. I don’t know how my life is going to be but I do know that I want to be everything she wanted me to be. She had loved me so beautifully that I almost deserved it. After all she was my mother.
Author Notes: We think we got time. But we don’t. So make it count. Tell your parents how much they mean to you because tomorrow it all can go away so swiftly like a breeze.