I hate you. Not in the way that teenagers scream at their parents when they're not allowed to go to their friend's house. I hate you in the way that makes my soul so ugly I don't even want to look at myself in the mirror some days. I hate you in the way that my blood boils and my body shakes when I see you.
You destroyed me, and everyone I love. And what really gets me, is that you were so ignorant, you were so selfish that you didn't even care. You kept pumping those pills into your body, kept chugging that forbidden concoction, kept smoking like a chimney. And you wonder why you're so messed up, why you have so many problems. Well guess what? I can tell you: you're mental and an addict. Your mind is so screwed up it's not even funny. You're literally delusional.
I never even knew the human body could contain such emotion. Never knew I could feel something so foul, so evil. But you really brought it out in me. Every single time you had a hissy fit because your immature and incapable mind couldn't face the realities of life. What is so damn hard about a nine to five job? What is so damn hard about a wife who does everything at home? What is so damn hard about healthy children? Because apparently your life is so miserable.
And I hate you. I remember you saying one day that you never wanted to be put in a nursing home. And everyone at the dinner table silently fought with each other about who would be stuck with you. But I remember thinking that would be exactly what I would do. And when I get the chance I'm going to gladly send in the check to that nursing home, I'll sign that crisp paper delightfully.
The hilarious thing too, is that you think you can scare us by pretending to leave. But every time you do, we celebrate. I cannot wait until the day we leave, and your possessive ass is left alone. I hope you get to lay at night wondering how the hell you screwed up so badly. I hope that every time you walk by the empty dinner table, walk through the empty doorway, sit in the bare living room that you feel the loneliness that you will have brought upon yourself. I hope you can feel that hate that I've been suffering with all these years. I hope you feel that dark hatred that has torn me apart. I really do.
Because I hate you. I actually hate you. And I hope you see this someday and think of me.
The daughter you treated like shit,