Dear Mom

Dear mom,

The days before it happened, I never was grateful you where alive. I never thought you could die. It never crossed my mind that you could die, that someone so close to me could die. When you left that morning it had never occurred to me you could have died. It had never occurred to me I would see you in the hospital crying in pain. I would never have thought that you could get hit by a car. When you were lying there in the hospital bed, I didn't cry. I didn't say I was sorry it happened to you. When you were stuck in bed for three weeks, I never said get better. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was never grateful for your life.

The second time, I heard the sirens, the ambulance sirens. I had never thought it would have been you. I never had thought it would happen to you again. I remember my dad getting a phone call, one saying you were lying on the ground hurt and screaming in pain. I remember going to go get your bike from the police, them telling us you were hurt really badly. I remember walking into the hospital, a déjà vu, I guess. I didn't cry. I was shocked I guess. I guess till someone brought me back to reality, I never acknowledged that you could have died. I kept it in. All the stress, all the worries, all the pain. I had never cried for you till two months later, reality hit me like a train. I guess I was never sorry you had gone through it. I was selfish. This is why every day, I hug you, even if I hate you. I can't risk almost losing you, or even losing you for good. I'm sorry. Now I am more grateful than ever to have a mother who cares and who is alive.

- Your Daughter

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