This is not a plea for forgiveness,
But an acceptance of blame.
I do not write this out of regret
I do not write this out of shame.
I write this to say I’m sorry;
To say there’s only one thing I would change.
I wish that I had sooner let you go,
That we had gone our separate ways.
We split up once and should have stayed that way.
Yet still I couldn’t keep away.
For the thought of you
With someone else,
Was more than I could bear.
I needed the feeling of being lost,
In the beauty of your stare.
I’m sorry that I hurt you,
I’m sorry I broke your trust.
I’m sorry I took your innocence
Because of simple lust.
As awful as this feels,
This admittance of truth,
I take solace in knowing that your love,
Was never truly real.
You never truly loved me,
But simply an idea:
That love could help you heal.
I don’t regret a thing we shared.
I regret nothing and everything;
I wish that I still cared.
I wish I could save you from your demons,
Yet I still have mine to fight.
I told that I was broken,
Yet still you held me tight.
Uselessly trying to hold me together,
Uselessly trying to keep us together.
Praying and begging and pleading and crying,
That maybe if you clung so tight
I could make you happy forever.
We were destined to fail, you and I;
I tried to tell you but you called it a lie.
You said that if we loved enough,
We could make it work.
You said that if we tried enough
We’d make it till tomorrow.
Yet when the sun dawned
We were still broken and dying.
I was tired of being perfect,
Tired of lying.
I tried to tell you, I swear I did
I showed you my shattered heart,
And you pretended it was fake.
Just like all the others,
Your solution was to pray.
You said God was always there for us,
And that he could make us whole.
So then tell me girl,
If you prayed and prayed and begged so much,
Why are they still broken?
Yours and I’s souls?
So once more I repeat it:
I warned you that I was broken,
And I tried to stay away.
Yet I loved the idea of you
In each and every way.
I will not say I loved you.
For I know not how to love.
No matter how you hate me now,
Just know I speak the truth.
We never should have been together,
For we had no chance of forever.
Author Notes: I suppose that now it doesn't matter anymore. Just know that while I knew that I was hurting you, that was never my intention.