Hayley Crosby walked along the damp overgrown grass, leaving little footprints behind. She felt the wetness beneath her as bits of grass and dirt stuck to her bare feet.
Her sad hazel eyes stared into nothing. The thick grey blanket above Hayley hid what was beyond the sky. She knew it was going to rain again but she simply didn't care anymore. All she cared about, was escaping the memories.
Hayley continued to walk silently whilst the troubling memories she had tried so hard to lock away, would no longer stand for being hidden. They called to her. They haunted her.
She shook her head in denial.
Hayley squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her jaw, trying to fight it back.
Talk to me… please
Her eyes opened with tears bursting out from her. “Go away!” She cried out.
She ran. The fallen leaves of winter covered the ground and made a sweet crackling sound as Hayley stepped on them. She came to an abrupt stop when she saw the words she was so afraid to see. They stared at her with a boldness that froze her in disbelief.
Here lay someone Hayley would never see again. This person did not speak, nor was this person touchable. So all Hayley did was stand and stare as the movie in her head played.
“Hayley please, just talk to me” He pleaded in desperation.
“I hate this! Pull over now! Let me out!”
“I can’t – “
He glanced at her with wounded blue eyes and started to pullover.
A gust of cold morning wind attempted to push Hayley closer but she remained still as stone as her chocolate brown hair whipped about in the air.
The car came to a stop on the side of a main road and Hayley burst out in frustration.
“Finally!” She yelled as her dad jumped out too.
“Hayley, what did I do?” He pulled on his rain jacket and squinted through the heavy downpour.
“Nothing! Just leave me alone! I hate this rain! I hate you!” Exasperated, she tried to run. “You don’t care about me!”
The rain began. It started softly and so did her tears. Neither made barely a sound as they descended onto the earth.
Despite that facts that stared her in face, Hayley refused to believe the reality of this situation. Anger rolled through her but was quickly pushed into submission by despair.
She thought, there had to be something she could do to change this ending. There just had to be.
“Hayley!” He yelled as he pursued her, grabbing her arm as he came close.
She clawed at his hand “let go of me! I hate you!” she screamed as she made another run for it, in a dangerous direction.
The memories continued to bombard her, guilt tripping her. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t…” she whispered to herself.
Time was passing and it was becoming difficult to see through the rain. Her damp hair clung to her face. Her knees weakened as the sound of thunder rolled throughout the sky.
She thought, and she hurt. There’s no love for her. There’s no love anywhere. The world hated her. The world is a devastation. The future cannot be won. The ending to the movie she’d already seen continued to play.
“Watch the cars!” He yelled, instinctively following her.
Hayley stopped abruptly as she saw the headlights, frozen in shock. Helpless, she whipped her head back desperately to see him one last time.
A cry burst from her. It scraped the depths of her heart and left her with nothing.
She fell to her knees.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, I need you…please…I just need you” She whispered, breaking down.
"Hayley?" A voice from behind called.
“HAYLEY NO!” He screamed at her.
Hayley didn't even register in her mind that someone was calling for her. All she could do was focus on the pain inside her. The words that would barely leave her lips.
“We’re…out of….reach” tears broke her every word “We’re…out of…time”
Despair shot through Hayley "Please! I can't do this! How am I supposed to do this?!”
A moment passed and the anger resurfaced. That was all Hayley needed.
“This wasn’t supposed to happen!” Hayley screamed as she lunged forward at the grass and began clawing at the earth with intense and uncontrollable anger.
And she cried.
She felt a warm hand touch her shoulder, but Hayley kept digging hopelessly.
“It should have been me!”
The person knelt beside her silently for a moment.
"Hayley, what are you doing out here on your own?"
Hayley’s movements slowed as her anger fell and exhaustion took over. She sat back on her heels and let her head fall limply from her neck. Her eyes closed in resignation.
Hayley could only manage a raspy whisper "the rain...I like…the rain."
"But…why?" Came the soft gentle reply of her mother.
Hayley took a deep shaky breath. "So no one…can see me…crying."
Her mum watched sadly at her broken hearted daughter.
“Why can’t I stop crying?” Hayley sobbed.
“Sometimes, we need to cry...” Her mum’s voice cracked in pain.
“Why, mum, why?”
“To make room for something new”
There was no reply to that. Hayley saw her mother from the corner of her eye, trying to wipe the tears from her cheeks. Unspoken words floated around them. Nothing could be said.
It seemed an eternity had passed as they sat there together.
Her mother stood up slowly and offered her hand. Hayley looked up at her. Her mother’s slight smile made Hayley feel like there was a small piece of hope. That maybe, just maybe, she didn’t have to do this on her own.
Hayley took her mother's hand and together they walked away from the tombstone that meant so much to them. One in a million tombstones in this never ending cemetery. One in a million cemeteries and only one person they felt pain for.
As they walked away, Hayley looked over her shoulder at the memory of the person that they would never see again. Never hug, nor see smile. Never feel their love. Never hear a word. Never share a memory and never will this person see the world again.
Hayley whispered four words as she looked back. "I love you, Dad”