In the kingdom of Shabushka, land of Psilocybin Mushrooms and mentally inept people lived a maiden named Marijuana Anastas Maximus or Mari. She is the daughter of a famous Shrooms merchant, Sir Leopold Ceasefire Maximus. Mari is petite teenage girl with hair that has never been combed before. She has the face of an innocent kitten. This innocent look is accompanied by a secret. It is a secret that everybody knows, but nobody realizes. Mari has two kinds of life; one of it is a crappy assassin. The last time she assassinated a living thing almost the whole town saw it. The town's people also cheered for her and magically suffered from a short term memory lost and they began to grieve and investigate. There was also the time when Mari killed the daughter's mother of the professor of the king's son. She began to feel guilty. She cried after she killed the victim and she started pointing on people. Everybody saw the happening but nobody realizes it, poor idiots.
Mari always wanted to be a member of a famous assassin's club but she was rejected. It must be due to her natural ammonia odor that comes once a year. Evilness grew all over her. She was continually in search for blood and death. But she felt the guilt at the same time. The whole towns people knew her as an innocent being. Mari being an assassin seemed to be imaginary to others. It has a reason. The reason is complete stupidity.
Now her other life: Her father wanted her to be a warrior because he has no son. So Mari spend her half life for good. She has served the king not too long. She has fought many battles and she has won. The only problem is......
We have to stop this commotion. This is a complete nonsense. Boring main character introduction should stop. Some information isn’t that important anyway. Believe me! It is time for the real deal, here it goes.....dun dun dun dun......
One day Shabushka was being attacked by SWAT dragons. These kind of dragon wear extremely dark Rayban glasses and they have a machine gun for a snout. Their scale color is shiny black as ebony. Well, you get the picture. Use your imagination flee pie! The dragons at first has no impact at the citizens, they were just staring at the sky. They were startled. They were even drooling. Then the SWAT dragons started to steal Psilocybin Mushrooms in the Shabushka Farm. Finally, the people began to panic They ran around the city. They started hurting each other because they are so damn stupid. They were biting each other's leg. They were screaming. They also bumped their head against the wall. Mari was just watching the chaos. She even have time to make popcorn. Then she saw her father is being kidnapped by the SWAT dragons. Mari dropped her popcorn and she took her dagger out. She rushed towards the SWAT dragon. She dodged the attacks of the dragon. She jumped up. She aimed for the heart of the dragon and ended up stabbing an innocent man. She felt guilt.
She cried out loud, "Why am I so damn good Why world?! Why?!!"
Then suddenly, a blue portal came out. Mari was just staring at the portal, well everybody was. A wizard appeared. He was wearing a violet velvet robe. He has silver like beard and a pink pointy hat.
He said, "Where art thou, Mari ? I have your father! He stole my Shrooms before. It is payback time. I am Cocainselot: The master of Cocaine" He does his crappy snourty evil laugh. Mari can’t stop laughing. Cocainselot did his dragon shout. Mari was shocked.
The wizard continued his speech, " In no time, I will take over Shabushka and soon the whole world. I have destroyed your kingdom because I am so damn awesome. You cannot stop me. But here is the catch, I will let Shabuska and your father free if you agree to join me. I heard that you are a great warrior. You are awesome at killing. Join me! We will rule the world! Two strong equals the force. Am I right?"
Mari answered, "Okay! I always wanted to join an evil wizard that is aw-aw-awesome! When will I start? By the way you are so right bro! Up top!"
"Well, that was easy! Maybe tomor...." replied Cocainselot.
Mari’s father interrupted while being held by a dragon, "A bunch of noobs! You just made the story less interesting!"
Mari and the Wizard shared a glance.
Mari s father continued, "Stupid people! Where's the drama?!the action?! Mari you should embark on a journey to defeat the evil wizard named Cocainselot. You will encounter different trials and you will also meet different people! By different I mean different! got it? And you Cocainselot, go back to your lair, Cocaine Castle! Wait for my daughter, Mari to defeat you! Send some henchmen or even dragons to kill my daughter if you must and retrieve golden pie, she will."
Cocainselot scratched his head, "What golden pie?!"
Mari’s father answered, "A made up thing to make the story more interesting! Every story needs a mysterious thing, like a ring for example but it has been done before. So why not a pie? Let me continue! Dragon, take me to the Cocaine Castle's Dungeon or cage. I will pretend to suffer and wait for my daughter to rescue me. What are you all doing? It is game time! Oooooh OOOoooooh...this would be awesome!"
Cocainselot went back to his kingdom, the dragon took Mari 's father to the dungeon and Mari pretended to care.
Mari ran to her house and packed her things. She brought her rusty dagger and wore her best steel armor. Awesome is written all over it, literally. She stole the horse of the king and bid goodbye to the kingdom.
"Farewell my lovely kingdom, Shabushka! I will miss you. It's my father's fault. He is so dramatic. I have to go through this journey to make the story longer and more interesting! Good bye! No matter how ugly you are, you will always be my home"
She teared up and commanded the the horse to giddy the horse and away her journey starts, but the horse didn't moved.
"What's wrong with you horsey? I know I stole you but I need you. Don't make me hurt you! I heart you!" She said and started caressing the horse's head. Then she felt so wrong in many places.
The horse refused to move because it is being molested. Then, Mari remebered that she brought some apples. She began bribing the horse. It worked; The horse ran, really fast. Mari can't feel her face. She felt that she left her soul in Shabushka because of the speed that she has taken up.
Mari realized that she is lost. She has no idea where she was going in the first place. She pulled over to a near Kingdom named Opiumnopolis Kingdom. It is a kingdom that looks deserted. The houses were really broken. Doors are broken, even some buildings were roofless. As she strolled around, people were staring at her. Then she met a dysfunctional warrior named Ecstasy Merek Soweak. He has a hair that has been combed. He is tall and metro-sexual. Vanity is imprinted all over him. He is also hyperactive. He cannot stay in one place. He has lost many battles and won a number zero. He has a poor at aiming and at fighting. He doesn't really know anything. His last battle was the worst, he ended up killing his whole army. Due to this accident, he becomes the only soldier of his kingdom. He was promoted.
Ecstasy approached Mari, "Hello there stranger. I am General Ecstasy Merek Soweak. Kindly please tell me why you are here?"
Mari answered, "I am Mari from Shabushka Kingdom. If you don't mind, I have a question. Where is...."
Mari got distracted. Ecstasy was running around her.
Mari shrugged it off and continued. “Where is the way to Cocaine Castle?"
Ecstasy stopped running and answered, "I have been there. I passed by it in my last battle where I killed a lot of men."
"You must be good knight." said Mari.
"I know, I killed a whole army" Ecstasy replied and Mari was startled.
"What army?" Mari asked.
"My army!" Ecstasy shouted.
Mari fainted. Ecstasy took a pail of cold water and threw it to Mari . Mari woke up. She was shivering.
She shouted,"What is wrong with you?! You killed your whole army!"
Ecstasy replied,"Yes I did! I was so good at swinging my sword and they made me General. it was the proudest moment of my life."
Mari was shocked.
She shrugged it off and she asked again, "Where is the way to Cocaine Kingdom? I need to rescue my father from the evil wizard named Cocainselot. "
Ecstasy's face lightened up and he answered, "I am not sure where it is but I am going to take you there. You have to trust me. I wanted to go on an adventure. It is time to practice my skills. Let me pack my things and dry yourself off."
Ecstasy ran off
Mari thought that the journey is just a pretend journey. She didn't mind if an idiot comes with her.
Ecstasy came back with a carriage, a wooden old carriage. It looks like a mini house but ugly.
Mari asked, “Why bring so many, when you can bring only a few?"
Ecstasy cried and answered, “Inside this carriage are essential things. I shall not leave them behind. There are things in life that you cannot leave behind"
Mari replied, "But you have no horse to pull your carriage."
Ecstasy replied, "I have indeed, it is your horse I have to borrow."
Mari shook her head and said, "I cannot lend you my horse for this beauty is mine. I have stolen her first. Get another horse if you must."
Ecstasy frowned and found another horse to borrow.
They went fort and started there journey. No wind or rain can push them away. They went high. They went low. They went in circles, literally. Then they stopped.
"Why are we going in circles? It has been hours. We haven't left the kingdom. Is this a joke to you?" Mari said.
"I am making the story a little bit longer, don't you like it? It is more dramatic this way." Ecstasy replied. "But I need to finish the story! This is a pretend adventure. We have to move fast." Mari insisted.
Ecstasy nodded. They left the kingdom. It is real this time.
They crossed the raging rivers. They passed by dark woods. They weren't going in circles. They are moving forward, though they do not know exactly where they were going. When everything seemed to be boring and perfect, SWAT dragons came by them and attacked them. Ecstasy's carriage was on fire. He swung his sword left and right. He was feeling the battle but he wasn't hitting anything. Mari just stared at him. She was waiting for the epic failure that was coming. A SWAT dragon squashed Ecstasy. Mari can't stop laughing. Then it was game time. Mari brought up her dagger and pushed Ecstasy away. Methe did her fighting exhibition. She was up then she was down. Smoke was everywhere. Then the scene cleared up. SWAT dragons were dead. Ecstasy was just staring. Tears started to fall from his cheek. He cannot take that much beauty. He applauded.
"It was nothing. These dragons are just props from Cocainselot to make the story more interesting. He wanted me on his side. He wouldn't kill me." Mari said.
"I wasn't applauding for you. I was applauding for the special effects." Ecstasy replied.
Mari scratched her head.Then they put the fire off the carriage. Nothing was destroyed dramatically.
Ecstasy and Mari continued their journey. They encountered two different pathways. They did not know where to go, left or right. Suddenly, a weird smoke came out of the middle of the road. A young mage was uncovered. He was wearing a royal blue robe and he has a twig for a staff.
He began to talk. "I am Leofreak Simon Drake of Heroington Kingdom. You can call me LSD. I am a traveling mage. May I ask if I could join you in your journey? I am with my trusted dog named skimpy."
He raised his hands as if he was holding a dog.
He continued. "Isn't my dog a cutie? Can we join you?"
Ecstasy and Mari were staring at him and said at the same time. "You have no dog!"
LSD teared up and started caressing the invisible dog. He was making a weird face. It was scary.
Ecstasy shouted, "You are cool! I like you! Join us!"
Mari jumped off her horse and pushed Ecstasy away.
Mari whispered to Ecstasy, “Are you nuts? That guy is crazy!"
Ecstasy whispered back, "He seems to look like a nice guy plus he is traveler. We can use his help."
LSD was staring at Mari and Ecstasy and shouted,"Why are you both whispering loudly?! I can hear you!"
Mari and Ecstasy stared at each other.
Then Mari approached LSD and said, "You can join us if you know the way to go to Cocaine Castle."
LSD replied, "Cocaine Castle is owned by my great uncle, Cocainselot. I shall take you there to gain more friends. I f you wouldn't mind, please tell me why are you going there."
Ecstasy interrupted, "Because it would be cool!"
Mari put an apple at Ecstasy's mouth and said, "I need to rescue my father from your uncle. It is sort of a pretend journey. My father will pretend to suffer. I will get the golden pie. I will pretend to kill Cocainselot then I will join him."
LSD wasn't listening. He was just staring at his hand.
"Are you listening?!" Mari shouted.
LSD began to talk, "I shall take you to my uncle even though you wouldn't tell me your intention. Before we go, what are your names so we can be friends?"
Ecstasy shoved the apple to Mari's mouth and answered, "I am Ecstasy and this apple eating creature is Mari .. Now let's go!"
Then they went right and continued there journey. They go far and wide. They grew tired. They decided to pull over in a nearby cave.
"Ecstasy, check the cave!" Mari said.
Ecstasy walked towards the cave to make sure it is safe. A few hours has passed, Ecstasy hasn't left the cave.
LSD began to worry. "Where might my best friend be? It has been hours!"
Mari was just laughing.
LSD stared at her and said, "Why are you laughing? He is agood warrior. Aren't you worried?"
Mari replied, "I am not worried because I wanted to get rid of that idiot."
LSD was shocked. He began enchanting spells at Mari. He tried to burn her. She was so scared. Then suddenly the spell back fired. LSD froze. Mari laughed and waited for him to melt.
"That wasn't funny!" LSD shouted angrily then he laughed crazily.
Suddenly, they heard a noise. They saw Ecstasy being chased by bat man like creatures. These creatures were spitting on him. Some were biting his head. LSD ran towards Ecstasy but Mari stopped him. She was enjoying the scene. Then she let go of LSD. LSD brought up his bow and arrow.
Mari was puzzled and said, "What is that?! I thought you are a mage. Why bring up the bow?"
LSD answered, "I wanted to be different! An arrow seems to be a good choice. "
LSD prepared himself he aimed for the bat man like creature biting Ecstasy's head. He threw away his bow and ran towards Ecstasy. He began stabbing the bat man like creature. It died. Mari brought up her dagger and began jumping around like a chimpanzee. She stabbed the bat man like creatures one by one. LSD joined her side and began stabbing too. Ecstasy tried to help them but Mari told him that it is better to not bring out his sword. They fought for hours. Blood was everywhere. Then they stopped. The battle was over. They won.
Mari walked towards Ecstasy and said, "Are you okay? Let's go the the nearby civilization. We need to find a doctor to mend your wounds."
LSD asked Ecstasy worriedly, "Why are you being chased by those creatures?"
Ecstasy answered hastily, "I stole their food and I peed in there cave. Freedom! Freedom!"
Then Mari shivered angrily and hit Ecstasy's head with a frying pan. Mari cried out of guilt. LSD carried Ecstasy to the carriage and they were in search for a nearby civilization.
As they were in search for a civilization, Mari can't help by wander why LSD is always talking to himself while holding his invisible dog.
"LSD? Who are you talking to?" Mari asked.
"It's my friend! Son of a flee! He is beside me!" LSD answered.
"Okay? Continue with your conversation then. Sorry for interrupting you guys." Mari said.
"What a nut head!" LSD shouted.
Mari began talking to herself.
"You need some medications girl! You are talking to yourself." LSD warned Mari.
Mari brushed it of and she focused on the search.
After hours of searching, they came by a kingdom name Phencyclidineham. It is a kingdom of rich people. The building was really made out of gold and weed. They met a doctor named Sir Geoffrey Uric Graut. He is the most famous doctor in the kingdom. He has this blonde hair that's bundled in a ponytail. He has these sparkling blue eyes that you cannot resist. A lot of people envy him.
Mari shared their adventure stories to the doctor.
A younger version of the doctor sneaked in and overheard the story and he interrupted, "Hi! I can't stop listening to your stories. It sounds fun. Your friend seems to be okay. May I ask if I can join you? I am Methamphetamine Rowan Graut, call me Metha. I am the son of your wonderful, handsome doctor"
Metha stared at LSD and Mari. Mari shook her head while LSD nodded. Metha begged and begged until Mari got irritated. LSD was in a twilight zone. They do not know why. The doctor thought that Mari and the gang needed the help of his son since he does first aid and sucks at inventing and fixing stuff. Metha packed his things when Ecstasy seemed to be well.
The doctor gave them some stuff that they can use in the journey. Most of it was made by Metha. They seem to don't mind. Metha jumped beside Ecstasy and LSD. Then they bid good bye to the kingdom. To the Cocaine Castle they go.
Annoying is all over Metha's name. He cannot hold still. One time he was playing with Ecstasy's hair. Ecstasy got distracted and he nearly hit Mari's horse. Mari got angry she made a plan. What she did is she asked LSD to tie Metha up. Well, it sort of helped their pace in traveling no more distraction. But, Metha found another way of annoying them. He cannot stop singing he even have a lute player from nowhere. It appeared randomly. The song goes like this. It's tune is a confusing medieval music type. Well it is your choice on how you're going to sing it.
I am an inventor
But my inventions are so crappy
I do not really know why!
I am so handsome
And everybody knows it
I was thinking to give myself a tan
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Such a lovely life
Someday I will have a wife
A wife that is oh so...........gooooooood!
My wife will be as sweet as sugar
And she is a damn hot cougar
A damn hot cooooooooooooougar!
Metha coughed then he began singing again. Mari got really annoyed. She pulled over and she attacked Metha.
"That doesn't even rhyme!" She shouted.
She tried to chock Metha. LSD and Ecstasy tried to stop her but they failed. LSD brought out his staff.
He enchanted the peace spell. "Silence will be everywhere. I know it will. Rainbow…Rainbow. Unicorn! Peace Peace! Yeah!".
It didn't work. It got more chaotic. Metha's rope losen and he was running everywhere while Mari was chasing after him.
After hours of chasing around, they stopped. Ecstasy cheered out of relief. Then they decided to call it a night.
They stayed a night in the woods. They hunt for food and made a campfire. Ecstasy was shivering. He looked afraid, but he kept denying it. Metha tried to scare him by sneaking in his back but it failed. He ended up scaring himself. He screamed so loud, wolves howled.
Metha brought out one of his invention. It is an automatic tent maker. It looks like wand with a little button on the tip.
He bragged, "This is my latest invention! It is an auto tent thingy! Press its button and you will see its magic"
LSD was so eager to use it. He pressed the button. Explosions happened, but it's broken.
"You call this an invention?! It's thrash!" LSD said with disappointment.
Then they spend the night in the cold. Ecstasy cannot sleep. He ended up jogging around the woods. Then he fainted beside Mari. Mari pushed him away because he smells like poo.
The next morning, Mari decided to start the day early. What she did is she took the pail from Ecstasy's carriage and she found the nearest stream. She filled the pail with water and threw it to the guys. LSD and Ecstasy were both shivering while Metha seemed to enjoy the water. Mari banged his head with a pan for that. Metha fainted for a while.
The boys dried up and they continued their journey. LSD told them that they are near the Castle. They have to go through to the Troll bridge. The problem is they need to pass the Test of the Troll. This test consists of riddles. Only one person should go through the test. The troll should chose who to play with. Mari was terrified. The troll should pick her because she believes that the others are morons. She stared at the boys. Metha was singing, Ecstasy was laughing for an unknown reason, and LSD was talking to nothingness. Mari began to wish for a miracle.
The journey seemed to be longer for Mari. She was hoping that the troll is just a made up thing of LSD. She was wrong. They have reached the Bridge. The troll was guarding it. The troll looks like a giant doll with orange hair that is raised up in the air. It has sinister smile and a soul wrenching stare. It's naked and it has glasses. They stopped.
The troll began talking, "I am Space Brownie, guardian of the Troll Bridge. You can only enter by answering my test. Only one of you can play. Who could it be?"
The boys were just staring at the roll while Mari was praying.
Then Space laughed, "I have made my decision!".
The troll pointed at the three idiots.
Mari was furious and she said, "What's wrong with you troll?!! You said only one can play?!"
Then Space replied, "It is my game! My rules! Back off!"
A medieval game show stage came out of the ground. It is kind of like Jeopardy. Then the troll is now wearing a suit.
He began, "Welcome to the Test of the Troll where you will answer some grueling riddles! Today is a special episode because we have three contestants! Let's meet them!."
Space walked towards LSD, "Hey Mage! Introduce yourself! Yo! art thou?"
LSD straighten up his robes and began introducing himself, "I am Leofreak Simon Drake of Heroington Kingdom or LSD. I'm an awesome mage!" Applause came out of nowhere. Mari was just staring at them. Space moved to the next contestant which is Ecstasy. He stole the microphone troll and started to sing.
I am so....so handsome...
I know you want some some...
Of my sparkles...
Taste it with Sprinkles
I am such a sexy beast
And you know what I mean
Oh yeah yeah...
Baby....you can't can't resist me. Lean Meat!
"Metha is not the only singer here! I am also a good psychedelic piece of muffin" Ecstasy said and he continued
Love love love...
Love love love....
I am a hottie.
Space chased after him. Ecstasy stopped singing. Space moved to the other contestant. Metha was clueless. He was just staring straight. There was just silence. Then he began clapping endlessly. He looked really nuts and disarranged. He is a lunatic or he is dying. Space gave him a stare and a pack of weed and he went back to his place.
He continued, "Let's start the game. I will give the question and you have to work as a team to answer it. This question is your ticket to the bridge. Choose your answer wisely. It is game time!"
Space paused then he took his question card. Then he began reading, "The question is, He is a handsome young lad, yes he is. He is the guardian of the bridge. He is the mighty troll of the East, you know it! He is a bachelor by the way. Who is he?"
Mari was jumping shouting, "That's easy! Answer it! The answer is right in front of you! Literally! Stupid female dogs! Answer the freezing question!"
The boys were puzzled. They began guessing. They were blabbering different words. LSD shouted a rock, Ecstasy said a bridge while Metha was just staring silently. They were clueless
Space was laughing and he said, "You guys give up? You are clearly wasting my time. Well, not really. Idiocy is entertaining, so is stupidity."
Then out of nowhere Metha raised his right hand and he shouted, "You! Space Brownie! That's the answer! Yeah Yeah! I am right?! Yeah!"
Then the game show set up disappeared. Mari fainted. Space walked towards Metha then he congratulated him. The troll opened up the bridge. Mari was still unconscious so Metha let him drink one of his potion. She woke up.
"I thought you are stupid." Mari said and smiled.
"Sometimes people surprise you. You should not judge hastily. Everybody has something extra-ordinary within them; you just have to search for it. " Metha answered.
Mari was shocked then he punched Metha in the face. He was crying. Then they continued their journey.
The scent of Cocaine Castle was everywhere. Mari was eager to rescue her father and join the evil wizard. She was literally day dreaming. She was dreaming of gruesome painful stuff: Death of her companions and her joining the wizard's side. Then suddenly, a loud rawr blew them away, and then popped out a giant purple dragon with incredibly smal wings. LSD shouted, "It is my uncle's Bazooka Dragon Filth!" LSD ran towards Filth. He was about to hug the dragon then A large ball of fire started coming out of his mouth. He ran away from the dragon. He tried to dodge the fire balls but he tripped.
Then he started crying, "My dog! Barbecue! No! My pet! Dead! No!"
Then Metha ran towards him and pulled him away from the battle scene. Ecstasy pulled out his sword but Mari pushed him aside. He was badly injured. Mari ran towards the dragon but she failed to tame it. So what she did is she ran towards the boys. The hid to nearest giant tree bark and they argued, "Why won't you let me fight, Mari? I am a great warrior." Ecstasy asked angrily.
"You might kill me!" Mari replied.
Then LSD wiped his tears and interrupted, "How are we going to defeat the dragon? It is revenge time! This is for you Doggie!"
Then Meth brought a weird looking ball and said, "This is a stink bomb. I promise you all, this is one of my successful inventions! Al we have to do is throw this ball to the dragon and it will faint!"
Mari closed her eyes and nodded. LSD refused but Ecstasy convinced him that maybe that is the only way. Metha then threw the ball to the dragon. Nothing happened. LSD was pissed. He began to stanggle Metha. Then suddenly a giant smoke came out! Metha gave them some smoke protection cloth. LSD froze. After a few minutes the smoke was gone and the dragon's unconscious. Ecstasy started poking the dragon. Mari pulled him away. Metha mended their wounds.
"My dog! So young! It maybe not important to you but, it is important to me. You must show sympathy. I have love it like my brother." LSD cried.
"There's nothing we can do! We have to move forward." Mari replied.
"Let's get LSD a rest. He lost a dog!" Ecstasy insisted.
"What do you think?" Mari asked Metha.
"I agree with..........Ecstasy". Metha Answered.
Mari just nodded.
Metha and Ecstasy pat LSD in the back and they decided to call it a night.
Then they made camp in the woods. LSD slept quite early and the other three cannot sleep. They were just staring at the campfire. They were not talking. Ecstasy tried to make the tent invention of Metha but he loses hope. Then Mari cannot take it so he broke the silence.
"So this is the cool down stage of the story?" Mari said.
The two guys just nodded.
"Well, we better get ready for the real fake deal tomorrow. We will definitely have a battle." Mari continued.
The two guys were just staring at her. Then she got a little irritated.
"Why aren't you guys talking? The cat got your tongues?" Mari chuckled.
The two boy nodded.
"Seriously?" Mari doubted.
Then the two boy laughed.
"We got you good! You really look stupid." Metha said happily.
"You should have heard yourself." Ecstasy added.
"I hate you guys. I cannot believe that I agreed to be with you guys. I am so nice." Mari said.
The two guys stared at her awkwardly. Then Mari stood up and bumped the heads of the guys in the tree.
"We are sorry." Ecstasy begged.
"Let's gather some twigs and some leaves. Beary Grills, the famous hunter visited our kingdom and he thought us how to build a tent the natural way." Mari said.
Then the guys stared at her and said, "Why didn't you do that earlier?! We have been sleeping out of the open for days now!"
Mari scratched her head and answered, "It would be fun? It is for the story?"
The two guys agreed. then they made a tent. They slept peacefully except for LSD.
They woke up really early. LSD seemed to be okay. He doesn't remember a thing about his dead dog. Mari was so grateful about that, then suddenly.
"How are you? How are your doggy issues?" Metha blabbered.
Mari stopped and turned to the carriage filled with the idiots.
She shouted, "What is wrong with you?! Everything faded, and then you brought it back! You are a fool!"
Metha teared up. Ecstasy comforted the guys.
"You are a bunch of idiots! I do not know why I can last a day with you guys?!" Mari continued.
Ecstasy teared up too then a roaring sound from nowhere, an army of tiny dragons. They are about six inches tall.
"They are so cute I just want to hug them so." Ecstasy stopped tearing up and focused on the dragons.
LSD wiped his tears and shouted, "We are going to die!"
Then Metha pushed the two guys and said, "It's battle time! Stop fooling around."
Mari was just staring at the dragons and Metha pushed her. Then they went to position. Well, Ecstasy was just running around so Mari locked him in the carriage.
Metha brought out his retractable sword. Mari was staring at it.
"That's a nice piece. You are a pretty good inventor." Mari said.
Then the sword fell apart. Metha smiled.
"Not!" Mari added.
Then LSD brought out his arrow. Then they charged.....Without Mari. She misplaced her dagger. Then the guys came back to position. Mari found her dagger with ecstasy. She slapped Ecstasy. Then she went back to position. She's in the middle LSD at the right and Metha at the left.
They fought like there is no tomorrow. LSD's face got burned by the dragons but that didn't stop him from stabbing the dragons. Metha used his fake Martial Arts skills and it did nothing. Mari ended up killing most of the dragons. Then they retreated to the carriage.
"What are we going to do? There's to many of them?" asked LSD.
"Bring me out!" Ecstasy shouted.
"Do you want to die?" Mari asked.
"I don't but I wan to fight." Ecstasy replied.
"Let him go!" Metha insisted.
Mari let Ecstasy go out of the open with a deadly weapon which is his sword. She cannot take the scenario she hid in the carriage along with the two remaining guys. They actually fell asleep. They were dreaming. After hours of slacking around, a noise woke them up. They were alarmed. They thought Ecstasy's dead. They opened the door of the Carriage. They found Ecstasy lifeless along with the dead dragon. Mari ran towards ecstasy.
"I told you you will die!" Mari teared up.
Ecstasy opened his eyes and said, "But I didn't!"
Mari slapped Ecstasy in the face and Metha tackled him. LSD was just staring at them .
"Are we doing? Let's continue this journey! I am starving. I want that pie." LSD said.
"Party pooper!" Ecstasy replied.
"I won't let you have one of my strippers when we get back!" Metha shouted at LSD.
Then the continued their nonsense trip.
After hours days of traveling, they have finally reached the castle. The castle's a beauty but it has a keep out sign all over it. It is made out of limestone and it only has a single tower. Well that is all. No more adjective words to blabber. You have the power of imagination. You can use it anytime. The story will not tell you every detail. That is just a waste of time.
LSD told the gang that he would knock at the main door because he knows people. So he ran through the moat and he fell of the trap but he didn't die.
"Go on without me! We are losing day light! Just keep going straight and up! My uncle it located at the top!" LSD said.
Then Mari replied, "That was our plan! Thanks for being our trap inspector!"
"I will miss you!" Ecstasy added.
"Me too!" Metha shouted.
They ran up the tower. Elfloids soldiers came out of nowhere. They are about three feet high. They have pointy hears and nose and they have a sinister smile. They are green, hairless, and slimy. Mari threw away Ecstasy's sword and she gave him a frying pan.
"What's this for? I defeated the dragons before?" Ecstasy asked.
"For safety reasons! You might kill me." Mari answered.
"Let's go! For the blood!" Metha shouted.
: The pie?" Ecstasy corrected Metha.
They paused. Then they shouted.
"Charge! For Weeds! Freedom!"
Ecstasy was incredibly a good pan smasher. He stunned numerous of elfloids.
Mari was impressed. "Mystery is all around us. So awesome." Guilt almost took over her but she didn't stop fighting. The dodged then attack. She aimed for the head then the heart. She felt amazed.
Metha brought out his rock bombs. It was incredibly working. He was in disbelief. He began implanting rock bombs at the vermins. Elfloids body parts were everywhere.
"We have this!" Metha shouted and made eye contact to his mates.
Mari and Ecstasy smiled.
They were like swans dancing in the battlefield. They hit left and right. Blood's splattered around. Then after grueling hours of fighting, they have won. The scene cleared up and Metha was badly injured he began to sing.
Go on...Go on without me...
Because I am badly hurt
I don't want to be a burden.
Because I am not a fool
I know that I am handsome
No need to stare at my beauty
Adieu you go!
Go! Go! leave me alone!
Defeat that less handsome wizard....
Defeat that less handsome wizard!
So I can have my strippers!!
"That doesn't even rhyme!" Ecstasy said.
Mari's eyed widen. Then they left Metha and ran up the tower. There they saw Mari's father locked in a force field case.
"Father! I am here to rescue you to join the evil wizard!" Mari said.
"I know my daughter, you made the story more interesting!. Who's the young lad with you?" her father replied.
"He is a companion I met somewhere! No more chit chat! Find a way to get out the cage" Mari said.
Then a giant cloud of fog appeared. Uncovered was the evil wizard Cocainselot.
He began his evil walk and paused, "I don't want to destroy your little reunion but I have to. I was forced to lock your father down to make the story a little bit longer. I think that I did a good job."
Then he did his snourty laugh.
Everybody began to laugh with him then he shouted, "Silence! Now, Mari we will have duel. I want you to dodge all my magic attacks and defeat me! Then we can have a little tea party! Isn't it fun?"
Then Cocainselot locked Ecstasy in a Force field cage then he continued, "I don't want some idiot to ruin our fight. Let's begin!"
Mari interrupted, "Where's the golden pie like my father said?"
"I am just baking it! It will be out soon! It is for our tea party. Whoever wins gets the pie! Now let's tango!"
Cocainselot replied and he brought out his staff.
"What does the pie do?" Mari asked.
"It makes you high! Now let's duel!" Cocainselot replied.
Mari brought out her rusty dagger.
Cocainselot paused and laughed, "What is that ugly thing?"
The wizard magically made a purple glowing sword appeared and handed it to Mari, "That is the Dragon Scaled Sword. Use it well! Now let's fight!" They began to fight. Cocainselot chanted various freeze spell and lightning spell. Mari seemed to dodge it all. She waved her sword and fire came out. Cocainselot dodge it too. The sword is so powerful. It has everything. It is like a Swiss knife but it is magical indeed. It was a close fight. They spent hours and hours of fighting. Nobody was winning. They grew tired and they sat side by side in the floor.
"We are going nowhere. We have to stop. Just join me and I will let your father go. I am getting old and unhealthy. I need to jog" Cocainselot said.
Then a sudden ammonia smell came out of nowhere.
Mari was tearing up and said, "That's me! Maybe you wouldn't like me to join you anymore. Just kill me now and let my friend and father go."
Cocainselot stared at her and said, "That's a beautiful smell. You can be my secret weapon! I have an advice for you if you do not want to keep that smell".
"What is it?" Mari asked.
"Use deodorant herbs. You can find it in the woods. I learned it from Beary Grills the hunter." Cocainselot replied.
Mari's eyes widened and said, "I love that guy!"
The wizard held Mari's hand. They were overjoyed. They were jumping around. They were singing happily like crack heads. Then the wizard went to unconscious mode. Ecstasy managed to come out of the Force Field Cage because it wasn't protected at all.
"I got out! The cage is a fake! I am so awesome." Ecstasy bragged.
He banged the wizard with a pan because he's good.
Mari got mad at Ecstasy. "You are a lunatic! Everything was so perfect! Idiot!"
She chased after him nonstop. Mari's father came out of the cage because it wasn't protected too. He was too dumb to figure it out.
"I am so dumb!" Mari's dad chuckled.
Then LSD managed to get out of the trap. He came out of nowhere. It was magic. He ran to the tower and towards to his uncle. He was crying. Then Cocainselot woke up, but LSD wasn't done crying so he hit his uncle's head with a rock. Then he continued.
Mari stopped chasing Ecstasy. She has decided to not join Cocainselot the evil wizard. She thought of a better idea. She thought of an army of her own.
She began talking, "I don't need a powerful wizard to be powerful. I can do it on my own with a little help from you nasty idiots."
Ecstasy replied, "Once you get to know us more, we aren't that bad. We can be goofy sometimes but we are awesome. I promise."
Then he felt a sudden pain and said, "Too much thinking! I cannot take it! I don't want to think anymore! I am not used to wisdom."
Mari comforted him. Then she suddenly hugged him.
He was chocking, "Why are you hugging me?! You are making the story a little cheesy! I am chocking! I am dying... I can feel your......"
Mari punched him in the nose. He was bleeding.
"You are a son of a flee!" Mari shouted and ran away.
Ecstasy smiled and his bleeding magically stopped.
Mair left the lunatics and searched the tower. She saw the pie's ready so stole it. She was feeling really awesome. She even danced her victory dance.
She came back to the crime scene and pulled LSD away from his uncle.
"LSD, he is alive. Don't you worry. He's just unconscious! Let's go! We will have a party in my kingdom! Maybe?' Mari said.
"Will there be pie? I am really hungry" LSD asked.
Mari raised the golden pie and LSD jumped for joy.
Ecstasy approached LSD and Mari, "Let's go! We are losing day light."
Mari called her father. They left Cocainselot behind. She also left the sword.
She walked back to Cocainselot and whispered, "I think I need the sword, sorry." She took the sword.
They went down the tower and out of the castle. They rode the carriage and horse.
Then LSD asked, "Are we forgetting something? It is definitely not my dog. It died. We didn't even bury its body. "
Ecstasy answered, "The pie? There will be no party without pie."
Mari interrupted, "I got the pie! So let's go! We are definitely not forgetting something"
Mari's father clapped and teared up, "Now this is a story."
He hugged Mari. Then she pushed him away.
"Do not be too dramatic. Aren't we really forgetting something?!" Mari asked once again.
The guys shook their head and Mari scratched hers.
Then seems to be everything was in place and they have all the things that they needed they went back to Shabushka.
They were singing.
What a journey we had.
It was totally a blast.
Dragons, Elfloids and other weird stuff.
I thought I am going to cough.......
That's a freaking story.
Now it is history.
We are going home.
No more time to roam.
What a journey we had.....
Back to Shabushka, the people threw a party for Mari and the gang. The golden pie was the center piece. It's beautiful blueberry weed pie. They danced around the kingdom. Beer was also everywhere. Everybody was drunk! Puke was everywhere. The people can't stop thanking Mari and she began asking money from people. The people were all stupid and drunk so they fell for it. Mari got richer. She started another Shrooms business.
After the party, Ecstasy and LSD decided to stay at Shabushka Kingdom. Ecstasy thought that it's a lot nicer in Shabushka than his old kingdom. He doesn't mind leaving his job there. LSD is practically a nomad, so he stayed. There they started a school with Mari that teaches Magic, Archery, Pan fighting and Assassin skills. They had developed a lot of young warriors and wizards. They were also crowned heroes of Shabushka they even have a shrooms farm made in their honor. Freedom and peace were restored. They were high and happy.
Meanwhile in Cocaine Castle, Cocainselot was making an evil scheme with an unknown masked man wearing a cape. They were planning to take over Shabushka and its surrounding kingdoms. They were laughing evilly. The plan seems to be final, he dismissed the unknown man. The man ran down the tower and commanded the Dragon army. He took off his mask and cape. He smiled. Uncovered, Metha the dragon commander. Here comes the imperial march..........OUT!
Oh? It's over, so what happens next? Well here is a message, use your imagination....