When reality slaps you really hard I'm sure you'll wake up in pain. That is exactly what happened to me. I must say I'm a good friend. A shoulder to cry on, give you some piece of advice when you need them. Give you surprise when you least expect them. Will never forget every single thing that are special to us. Someone who you can really trust.
They said true friends will never leave you. But I wonder why me and my "true friends" are now apart? I've been in this group of friends for four years. But just when I thought we have a strong bond, everything went down. That feeling of rejection and betrayal. Once they make you feel like they will not be completed without you, next thing you know you are no longer belong. It's just sad that you are there when they need you but when you need them nobody showed up. I don't really have an idea why they drift away. I feel rejected in a way that when I try to talk to them they turn their backs. I feel betrayed in a way that I trusted them in every single thing, in every single secrets that I have then in a snap gossip blows out. I feel depression and loneliness. The people I trusted the most are now the one who's putting me in shame. There comes a time that I skip meals and don't drink anything. I got sick and been confined, but didn't hear a thing from them. Aren't they the sweetest? There comes a time that I feel empty because no one can understand me. (I am the invisible one in my family by the way, I always get the feeling of not existing) The pangs of anxiety slowly get into me. I tried cutting my self. Did I hear a thing from them? NO! They all know that they are the reason behind all this stupidness but I got no reaction from them. Swear they are the sweetest!
But how did I get away with it? GOD! God is the only answer. I felt so much pain throughout this journey. I felt exhausted and about to give up. I gave up to the Lord. I told him that whatever his plans are I trust him. And slowly I recovered with all of the pain and depression. Now that I'm over with all the things they brought me, they started to communicate with me. Not trying to be like them but maybe I've had enough of them. I know I'll meet more people in the future. But for now, I'll just focus on loving my self more than them. People come and go. There are other things worth our tears and pain. Maybe you're struggling with a big thing right now but always remember God is always there to guide us. Nothing is bigger than God! Trust HIM and have faith.
Author Notes: We are all great individual. Don't lose hope no matter how hard the situation is. Life is beautiful live it the way it's supposed to be.