PART 1: LIFE IS TERRIBLE
Monday, November 15, 2010
It was the chemistry lecture in the lecture hall. Miss Lee is giving the lecture about the electrochemical processes in a galvanic cell. When I entered the class, I felt very energetic, no one was more energetic then me, when I asked, “Miss, what’s the meaning of ‘Pt’?”
It’s platinum, used in the reaction between chlorine gas and sodium metal in a Daniell cell.
Minutes passed, I was still jotting down the notes, with a Faber-Castell in my hand. I left my papers today, so a kind buddy gave me a piece of paper.
Just an hour before, Mr. Ding’s class was on. The math tutorial was a truly boring but funny moment.
I just didn’t complete my tutorial exercises, and actually, I felt guilty for that. I supposed to complete it a night before, but I wasn’t. I took a day to relax after the tiring MUET exam on the 13th. I think, it was a right choice for me to take a day to forget everything about MUET. I’m going to take IELTS next year.
The physics lecture was on after the chemistry lecture. It’s Mr. Husaine, the lecturer that nearly changed me after he torn my assignment in semester 1. OK, let’s forget it. I don’t want to bother about it anymore. My mum said that it might be a good indicator that I’ll get a CGPA of 4.
He taught us about the refraction of light in spherical mirror. It was just OK except…
A couple of minutes before the class ends, something is not right. My tears flew down my cheeks suddenly. My mood was gloomy. What demon possessed my mind, what am I thinking about, what Mr. Husaine taught me… all those questions concluded one concrete answer, I DON’T KNOW.
I stepped out of the lecture hall when his last word is spoken. With a gloomy face, I accelerated my pace, I went to the mosque, with a thought of peace may be found there. It heals me a little.
After, a math lecture is held. It was very hot inside, and we learnt something more difficult than Mr. Husaine’s lecture.
And still, I just can’t control my feelings and I at last, I went back to the dorm, and pray, and write.
What’s happened to me, actually?
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
It was my 18th birthday. I waited for the first person who wished me a ‘Happy Birthday’. I received an SMS from Elsy, a boy-like girl which working as the Deputy Economic Exco for the Student Representatives Council; then, my good friend, Nazrin, and then, my first and love, Fatin. I called Fatin that night.
She was just recovered from heartbreak. We shared everything that night, from her last love to my personal matter. Honestly, I told her that I just can’t forget her. She is my first love. I saw her for the last time on 9th March, exactly at 10.35 pm when I went back from the National Service camp. I missed her so much. He broke my heart twice, but still, I loved her.
I sung Richard Marx’s Right Here Waiting to her…
Wherever you go, whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes, overwhelms or heartbreaks
I will be right here waiting for you…
I wanted so much to say I LOVE YOU to her. The last time I said was a few days before the month of Ramadan starts. Then, for 3 months after, I didn’t say, SMS or even chatted with her via Facebook.
I said, “If you wanted to find better man, please give whatever the best you want to give to her without hurting your pride. But if all of them disappoint you, I’m waiting for you…”
And my tears flew down after the call…
The next day, I turned energetic like a motor. All classes are like excitements for me.
But that evening…
TO BE CONTINUED