Excerpt of a Queer Life

Hanging around in the kitchen all evening, knowing I should start studying for my exams. Sitting with me and drinking one glass of wine after another: A 19 year old girl, with whom my flatmate lately stared to share the bed naked with. He's in an online meeting next door, the girl and I are not even talking. I'm enjoying dinner by myself while having a glass of wine. She's on her phone, also having said glasses of wine.

He comes in, gets a plate of leftovers for the two of them and now we're sitting all together. I joke about getting his girl drunk. He jokes about her having to see my room. It's funny, because I'm gay. She laughs.

The doorbell rings, it's the gym buddy of my flatmate. He leaves us alone to pack his stuff, taking the girl with him. His gym buddy starts hitting on me, I'm not interested.

They leave, I'm now all by myself. Still avoiding to study I open Instagram and see the story of a former class mate. It's a meme, where someone get's diagnosed "gay" with a thermometer. I breathe air out of my nostrils and send her a dm: " I know it's kind of random, but I'm prokastinating and saw your storie. I smiled and even blew some air out of my nostrils. Queer support from Hamburg, let me know when you're in town." Of course, I add some cute emojis. Support is important.

Later I think about that message and why I sent it. It feels weird trying to bond with someone based on their sexuality. I realise it is about the fact of beeing queer. If you do something differently from the majority, you're queer. It can be your sexuality, identity or just a hobby. Being excluded from a group, it is the obvious thing to do to look for support from people who made similar experiences.

She never answerd. Maybe it was just weird after all.

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