Why hide behind a smile, when you know that all your emotions are building up slowly. Then someone gets on your nerve and your lid pops off and all your anger, sadness, and frustration gets let out on that one person.
I was in the 7th grade, new to a hole new school. My old school was a school for juvenile delinquents, that had to write about what they had done wrong-that is where I learned to write stories.
I came to school late, so it was already lunch time. I was so nervous because I had to walk into a big crowd full of people i didn't know. A group of girls waved at me and wanted me to sit with them. Their names were Jaslynn, Julie, and Kali. Well Jaslynn was just the annoying one in the group, Julie was the athletic and mean/popular girl, and Kali was the fake athletic bragger. I thought Julie and Kali were so cool and I wanted to be a part of their group but then I realized (after 2 months) They were just using me to get all of my secrets out and expose me to the entire junior high.
One day me and my friend, Gilbert were playing tag, and all of a sudden Julie comes up to me with her little friend Hannah. Julie starts yelling at me saying "If you want to go then we can go right now". I did not even know what I did wrong. I acted cool about it and just sid "I didn't do anything so yu can leave me alone and please keep me out of your drama circle?!". Inside I was a nervous wreck because I did not want to start a fight on my first year here, especially with Julie. She will lie just to make me look bad and she will tell everyone that she won a fight. Julie got used to me being new so she just left me alone after a while, since I wasn't going to fight her.
A few weeks later- a boy named Carlos came up to me. I was blushing but only because he is very flirtatious. He started joking around and then he started play fighting with me, nt going to lie and was doing it right back. I thought he was so cute, and we started talking more and more. Then he asked me....Do you want to be friends with benefits? I did not know what that meant at all, so he had to explain to me. I said "EWW NO". Then he got mad and told everyone i was a hoe. He made up lies about me saying I sent nudes to him and that I let him do stuff to me, but really thats just stuff he asked me to do, then I turned him down.
The whole school knew me as the -School Thot- I would go home and cry for months. Then one day a girl named Jessa came up to me and asked me why I let carlos do stuff to me.? I told her I didnt and she told me with scary narrow eyes that she was his GIRLFRIEND!!!!! She wanted to fight and I was tired of everyone hating me and thinking i was this and that. I really hated when people called me a "pussy". I said I would fight her, but she was yelling the entire time making a huge scene screaming "hit me", she said it at least 20 times. It got so annoying and then a teacher was walking up and Carlos jumped up and went in front of her saying "They are just talking". She started running over to us and asked us "what on earth is going on here?". I was furious and then Jessa started talking and my self-control button was turned off. I told Jessa "Shut the Fuck Up". The teacher, Mrs.Body told me to go sit down in the office. I did not care that I got into trouble but all i knew is that in less then a week i was going to hurt someone.
I had got sent to ISS that day but I actually liked it there, because there were people who got mad easily in there and people who I could relate to. I started to get into trouble on purpose just go back to ISS. Then one day Julie showed up, and my entire body got hot. She would look back at me and laugh. (In ISS, you can only got to the bathroom at a certain time) When we had our restroom break she continued to laugh, so I swung at her and ended up hitting her nose. Her eyes watered up but I did not care. I continued to swing and swing over and over again. Then the ISS teacher, named Mr.Ginster ran in and tried to pull me off of her but it didn't work. He needed help, so he got the other ISS students to help me off of her. I was so mad that I didn't realize what I had done. I started to cry.
She ended up going home and her mom threaten to file charges against me. But she ended up not doing that. She told Julie to apologize to me. I said sorry back, and I started to pray. I wanted to go back to my old school, where they knew everything about you and no one would mess with anyone. Julie and me went our separate ways and rarely ever speak to eachother.
I ended up going to DAEP (disciplinary alternative educational program). It was so quiet and if you did wrong then you would go straight to Juvenile Hall. I was there for 2 months. We had to do community service, wear certain clothes, and we had to get checked with a pinpointer (its a small metal detector). I had a few friends in there but some people did not like to talk at all. I did not know if they felt guilty about what they had done or if they were just introverts. Time flew by. I was out of DAEP!
I was back in school, but it was even worse. Everyone was scared of me or teasing me saying "are going to hit me?" I was not going to hit them because I knew that what I had done was insanely wrong. Then we had to go to lunch. I sat by myself since no one liked me. Then all of a sudden a girl from eighth grade came up to me. Her name was Bonny. She was so nice, so I asked her, " Why are you talking to me, do you even know what I did?" She said she already knew but she didnt care. Bonny said she had no self control in 7th grade and that everyone just tries to test your limits. But everything gets better when you learn who to trust, talk to, and to learn to calm down immediately.
She started sitting with me everyday at lunch, she turned out to be my best friend at that school. Bonny taught me how to calm down when I get upset, how to make friends easily, and so much more .She introduced me to her friends and we all started to sit together and become a really bug friend group. I thought I would never find a friend until I met her. She is the one who made my seventh grade year worth while.
Author Notes: Present time (3 years later) I have so many friends, but Bonny is still my best friend. This is a true story.