She woke up in a jolt on her sofa. Breathing as though the others. Her hair in a mess. Tear stains on her face. Eyes that once shines are now a pair of lost orbs clouded in despair. She thought about leaving, eternal sleep. But she ended up staying, breathing and dying just as nature perceived her to be. She stayed for the colour she remembers at the back of her mind, maybe her world will be dyed once again. She stayed for the wounds she tattooed unto her skin and soul, maybe someone will notice these scars that she holds. She stayed to be love and to love again, maybe it is alright to still have hope.
She is scared, she is sad, she felt every forms of pain but no longer can she feel sane. Her soul cries in agony as she tells the world “I am okay.” Her body shakes in pain every night even though it stayed numb in the day. Fears befriended her for every new chasm she carved upon her skin and heart as the dark blood drips and stain the bathroom floor. Her heart shatters and shatters for every being that believed in her ‘normality’.
Behind locked doors, she is who she is. She is broken and she is ugly, bulging scars covered her body, dark thoughts guiding her down the path covered in needles and glass. She is scared and she is a wreck, she has torn herself into micro pieces, some lost and can’t be uncover, every second she slips through her fingers like sand, losing grip. She is in pain and she is dying. Behind the locked doors, she is who she is.
She woke up once again, breathing as she should be. Cold sweat covered her body. Hair still in a mess. Tears stain down her cheeks, eyes clouded in despair. She stared into oblivion as she drowns herself in her thoughts. Her demons grow and dances. She pondered on the reasons she chose to stay. Prayers din't work as she din't know what to say. The key turned and the lock fell.
"I am here."
Alas, She knew why she stayed.
Author Notes: A hope I wish I had hold on to earlier. Not too late to start. Still holding on.
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