Glowstick

Glowsticks need to be snapped before they glow. At least that is what my mum always said. She was a very religious lady, no boys in the house, no makeup, not even a scented candle.

I miss her… it’s been a few months since she passed and lets just say my dad is not doing a very good job at running things around here. Mum always knew what to do, she knew when I was having a good day and she was even better at knowing when I was having a bad day.

You are probably wondering what happened to her. Well I guess we are going to have to start from the beginning……

My mum has always been a lovely lady, she has always been so sweet and generous, at least that is what dad always says. Me and mum argued quite a lot but we seemed to get over them quick enough. I don’t really remember my mum, but then again I have a very bad memory. I was in a car crash not too long ago.. that’s how my mum died, I don’t really remember it but from the articles and all the news I have seen on Tv it seemed to be worse than I can remember. I try to get my dad to talk about it but every time I ask him about it he just cries, he says even the thought of it makes him tear up. I was the only child you see, so me and my mum is all my dad has, and now he only has one of us. Because of the car crash I wake up everyday not remembering anything. My dad didn’t know what to do at first but now he has made me a tape that I watch every morning, it honestly makes me sad That I can’t even remember my dad, until I look at a tape. The car crash must of hit a nerve or something in my body. But it was obviously much worse for my mum. My dad just likes to stay in bed most days, its like he doesn’t know what to do with himself. I have always been really close with my dad so we get along really well.

Anyways, mum and dad met when they were in high school, they had me when they were still teenagers, I’m guessing it was hard for them but of course I will never know. From what I know from the tapes, my grandparents wanted nothing to do with me. so I never met them but its ok because I have my dad and well he is all I need. I grew up with what I can tell a great life… I just wish I could remember it. I go to a public school as well, the boys there are just on another level of stupidity. Oh something else I should of said, I have some of my memories still with me, like who my best friend is and I recognise some of the faces from school but I guess that was because they were the last people I saw before the crash, I don’t really know I am not known for being a genius. My dad still puts It on the tape, just in case something goes wrong one day and I cant remember anything I’m guessing but I don’t know what goes on in his mind. Wish I could, it would be so much easier. Anyways back to the story… as I was saying I go to a public school, sometimes I wish I could be home-schooled and I have good reason for that. Everyone literally pity’s me because of the crash, like don’t get me wrong I appreciate it but I just want to feel like a normal human being for one day…..

I mentioned my best friend earlier is….. her name is Olivia. We have been best friends for forever really. I cant remember a time when we weren’t friends and sure we have had out upside downs but she is like the sister I never had and my dad sure seems to like her and he thinks she is a good influence. Well my snapchat says otherwise, lets just hope he doesn’t look through ‘my eyes only’. She was there when I was in hospital, she would stay night and day. She would even bring me all the school work and homework I missed. Even when I was in my coma, she was there. That’s what my dad said. My dad recorded her reaction to me waking up from my coma, he had a video camera on me at all times, just too make sure if anything happened, he knows. He Is so sweet. I just realised I have been talking this whole time and I haven’t bothered to mention my name or anything, my name is Eloise. its French apparently. Anyway we are going off track again, Olivia Is always with me when I go to the hospital as well, I have to go to hospital every month or so. Just to do some monthly check ups, all the doctors and nurses are really kind and sweet. my mum used to work in this hospital so they all know me and liv pretty well.

My favourite nurse is Charlotte. She is so sweet and she does all my check ups. Something else I should of mentioned is my dad literally films everything I do and puts it on a tape so I can look at it every morning, so I don’t miss anything. It can get annoying sometimes but I know I will appreciate it when I wake up the next day.

Todays hospital visit was a bit different though, normally when they come in with my results its all ok but when charlotte walked in today she seemed really upset. I started laughing as we always do pranks so I was thinking that it was just a prank. But I guess not….. what she told me, was… well I don’t really know how to say it. I don’t even want to say it… but I cant leave you on a cliff hanger like this.

She said that they found some sort of tumour in my brain or something, they sound when I first came in from the crash they saw it but didn’t think anything of it and thought it would just go away after time. But clearly it got worse. How was I meant to react to that? I immediately started crying and ran out the room. Olivia following me while my dad spoke to the nurse. i didn’t know what to do. how do you process something like this? I obviously wasn’t thrilled by the news but I calmed myself down and decided to go and talk to Charlotte. She said that this tumour is in fact cancerous. And that I have to stay in hospital until it gets treated, so I guess after only being out of hospital for like 3 months I have to go back in.

I asked if I could have home treatment but the doctors say they cant risk anything and that it was easier for me to stay in the hospital so if anything happens they can help me straight away. Again I wasn’t thrilled about it but I guess it was something that I have to do. I just feel so bad for my dad, I don’t know what he is going to do all alone in the house without me. but I guess he can stay in hospital with me. I am not going to be in a coma this time so hopefully I will be ok. I don’t know what I am going to do about my memory though, maybe my dad will have to get them to play my tape every morning for me so that I at least know what the hell is going on.

I have to be in hospital ASAP and well they decided that I have to go in now, my dad had to go home and get all my stuff so Olivia stayed with me till me dad got back. She needed to get to school. The school lets her off sometimes they know she is with me, she normally tells they school if I have to go back in hospital. My dad just doesn’t do it, I don’t know why but he never does and it actually worries me. I still don’t know how to process the fact that I have a cancerous thing living in my brain, like what? I have so many questions but I don’t think the doctors want to sit around and talk about it, they probably have more important things to do then answer my questions. I guess this is just what I need after trying to recover from the crash. I have lost so many things, my mum, all my memories and I have a feeling that I am slowly losing my dad. But I cant think about that right now, I guess I just need some sleep. I guess goodnight for now.

A few months later…..

So I am still in hospital, my memory is slowly getting better but the cancer is not. I have done so much chemo that I am immune to it now. It has been a whole year since my mum died and I barely see my dad at the hospital anymore. At first he was there all the time but over time he started to come less and less. Of course Olivia is still there to bring me all my work and homework, what would I do without her? I have to have another check in today, so far nothing has really changed but in all honesty I don’t think I have very long left to live.

A few hours later…

Charlotte finally comes back with my results, and lets just say that what I thought was going to happen has come true. Yep only a few days left until then I get to go see my mum. I honestly thought that I would have a little longer but I guess not. All I know is that I am going to finally get to reunite with my mum, and that is the best thing possible, I wont be in pain anymore.

2 days later….

My mum always said that glow stick has to snap before it glows… well I guess mine just snapped too far……

Author Notes: hope this is ok, this is one of my longer short stories that I have written. I am still trying to write as much as I can but I am finding it really hard. but this is my recent story.

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