I’ve a monocular vision and as soon as summer hits, I inform the people I know before hand that if they happen to wave at me from far and I don’t react, please don’t be offended; it’s either because my lenses are probably sliding down my nose due to the sweat shining on my face or I am trying to clear my path through the crowd with a murky glasses. And somehow, no matter what; my eyes still manages to get well focused on him. Yup! my this fancy tale of infatuation.
The other day I’m asked about how can I be this vocal; this vocal over a crush. Over someone who is above in hierarchy and way out of my league. It turned out to be kind of a battlefield with so many What If thrown at me😀 I’m told - ‘It’s so weird for you to write about him this big’ , ‘You are completely out of place, I’m sure he doesn’t even know your name’ , ‘Don’t you feel awkward when you write about him and then pass him by the next day’ and on and on.😀
To answer these Qs, I got one big comeback which is NO, no I don’t feel awkward at all. And Yes, I know that he is clueless about my existence, and yes; I’m weird to be writing about him this big. My mind pulls a picture of him from this Saturday; him driving away in his four wheels through the chaotic afternoon and that bright colour of his shirt. Yup that! and another picture from earlier that week; him standing and deeply engrossed in conversation just outside our Hospital’s emergency, while I stumble through the crowd in order to make my exit.
Damn! I blush as my brain pulls out his many images. How could something this giddy make me feel less about myself in any manner. If at all, it reflects my ability to be able to have no ego when it comes to who interests me. Why should the fact that He doesn’t know my name , stop me from writing him in my words. If I could; I would, by now, have written a book of short stories on him. Perhaps I will have to do with these - ‘He is too good to be true’, ‘Can’t take my eyes off you’ and if I dare be bold ‘Be my baby’
No guy with stethoscope has ever made me blush but him! It kind of gets like ‘He takes my breath away’. He is super cute and beautifully handsome and so well spoken. What cages me more is his soft polite manners. He is so well contained in his behaviour with everyone irrespective of their place in our chain of profession. And I love that about him. He is a clear definition of - You don’t need to be rude to be in authority. And in all truth, whatever I know; I owe that to him. I don’t remember him letting go to waste any single hour scheduled with him. He always turned up and taught us something new and important and although I didn’t get to take my university professional exam; the Qs paper was everything he taught in his afternoon class. Yup! That’s me, I’m saposexual. Good manners, humbleness and intelligence attracts me.
So when I was asked whether or not I feel awkward over writing about him , my only reply was; you gotta know him to know that You can’t feel awkward about writing him in your words. And even if I tried not to paint him with the few words I have, I would fail miserably. I seem to not able to resist the aura he radiates. Each time I enter our hospital, I find my eyes searching for just the glimpse of him.
I wish I was some extraordinary damsel to have turned his head twice.
Author Notes: I don’t need to be a writer to paint him with the few words I have. It could be as crude as these and yet still be so beautiful to me.