Have you ever been in love?Loved someone so much you give your everything? Mind, body, effort, time and soul?
When I was younger I met this boy that for some reason I get so addicted with. Back then, I don't know what to call that intense feeling that made me do all those stupid stuff just to make him notice me but LOVE. I would follow him, shout his name in the middle of the streets for all the world to know that I desperately would love to be notice by him and when he did, I did blush. Back then, I would make poems, simple notes and letters ( telling him that I want him to be the father of my would be children, LOL) and I never pass any single occasions to greet him, his birthday, Christmas, new year valentines etc. As I was reminiscing this things I really can't help but to smile thinking I was so stupid..LOL! Right now, i have come to evaluate my feelings for him.. I've already outgrown my feelings for him and yes I admit.. that back then.. I really loved him.. I really did..And I realize what I have for that boy.. What I have for him back then was a puppy love.. an innocent love..
I never expected a relationship,I did not asked for commitment.. All I want that time was to be notice. Yes, I've dreamed to be with him cause back then, I'm happy doing it.. dreaming of him.. and it's as simple as that... no more reasoning out.. no conflict..
But as the years past me by, as I get a clear picture of what the real world is, my outlook in life and love has changed..It is no more simple, it is complicated..I already want a commitment, I want a relationship.
Now as i end up with this thinking I ask myself, what can I do for love? A very simple question but it gives me a hard time answering it.. It's hard cause there's no more question here if I'm still young or a more mature person..the clear question here is what can I do for love?
I'm not sure if my answer would be right or not but the only sure thing is that.. I would give my everything for love..And I really mean everything cause for me, it isn't a matter of how much you can give out in a relationship but how much effort you've shown just for the relationship to work out. Besides, it isn't just for me, it is about my happiness, it's about my future..
Now here is the second big question, what if after you've done everything, give him everything, sacrifice all that you have and all that you are, it isn't yet enough for him? What if he still can't love you enough to make him stay? Enough to make him share his tomorrow with you? Heck! I've been hearing all this lines over and over again.. " It's not you, it's me..", "You don't deserve me, you deserve someone better..", "You are better off without me.." . What are you gonna do?
For sure, for sometime you'll self pity.. coz you'll think you're broken..You'll think there's nothing left for you cause when he left you're lifeless.. He is your life.. But don't you think it will be more foolish to cry for the things you can no longer re arrange? Yes it is okay to cry, to mourn , to grieve over your dead heart, it is natural.. but what is not normal is when you stop living just because he decided to end up the relationship.. Stops breathing because he lets you feel you aren't worth anything..It isn't yet the end of the world! Instead of crying your heart out, why don't you just look for something that would divert your attention on what happen? Go out, meet up with your old friends, relax.. go shopping or window shopping. Make yourself beautiful than the way you are even before he met you.Make him realize hat when he dump you, he made the biggest mistake of his life..that he was the one who loss more cause you loved him more than anyone could ever do. Make the happy memories with him your inspiration to love someone again in the right time and the bad memories your motivation to totally move forward. In time, you'll see, all the wounds will heal, all the scars would vanish and all that is left for you is the brand new better you.
What would make the struggles more worthwhile is that when you realize that you are perfectly fine without the person you thought you needed the most. You will realize that it is only God,s one way of telling you to be strong, to hold on and to be ready cause he will be sending the Right one for you.. The right person who will give you the world just to make you happy.. The one who will make you the queen of his life and the person who will make the journey in your life worthwhile.. The one who'll be very much willing to hold your hand until you reach the sunset of life.
Now if someone again asked you the same question, never be afraid to answer with conviction.. Yes, you already did, love someone so much..and although it didn't work out the way you expected it to be at least you know to yourself that you did everything to make the relationship to last. You'll even be prouder to yourself cause you know you are ready again to try and try.. until you succeed in having that someone who will share your heart and life with.. Just have faith that everything will turn out to be as God planned it to be and with His providence, in the end.. you will be happy...